What is expected of our demographic?

I am a 27 year old married man. I have a 19 month old son and an 8 year old stepdaughter.

When I think of guys my age and the things they do, my mind sort of draws a blank. I think about my father and my stepfather and the friends they had-- their lives consumed by menial and unrewarding jobs, where after they would come home and drink vodka and watch TV day after day.

I am self-employed-- running servers for an online game called Minecraft. I enjoy the work that I do and it earns me two to three times more than any job I've had before. Aside from that, I am a "stay at home dad" cleaning the house and tending the needs of our children, while my wife goes to school full time.

The only person I ever speak to is my wife, who I have not seen much of lately. She is always either at school or sleeping, or studying and wishes not to be disturbed.

Trouble is, my only friends are people I know online who have joined and become volunteer helpers on my servers. My best friend is a 15 year old girl who my wife and I consider our "adoptive daughter." She has a very difficult home life and comes to us for comfort and advice. Lately it seems like the only time I am happy is when I am talking to her on Skype or we are playing a game together. Often times, though, I feel like I am competing for her attention as it seems she would rather be talking to her other friends who are all her age-- which makes sense.

I do not know anyone I could consider my "peer." I imagine they are all working crappy jobs somewhere or pounding beers in some bar. I am not actually interested in meeting them. I just feel like I am expected to be friends with guys my age and not 15 year old girls on the internet.

Often times I think to myself, "What am I suppose to be doing? What am I suppose to do?" I step outside of my apartment and I am disgusted with everything I see. There is no place to go. I could drive for thousands of miles and see nothing but the same sort of town with the same kind of roads with the same traffic and noise copy-pasted all over the landscape. There is no place I can stand without trespassing onto someone else's property. It feels like the environment we live in is more suited for soulless robots or insects rather than human beings.

None of this is new, really. There has never been a time in my life where things were not just like this under slightly different circumstances or different people.

Everything I have read online suggests I should simply lower my standards of what being "happy" should be. I guess what it all boils down to is a lack of choices, people who are indifferent and uninterested in my company and probably shouldn't be anyway, and the rest of the world, which looks pretty wretched.

Sounds like to me that you and your wife should make some dates for just the two of you. Get out of the house. There is bound to be something you would like to do together. Go out to eat, a movie, etc. You need to look for a hobby you would enjoy that would get you out of the house every once in a while, even if the scenery is boring to you. Skype and playing games with a 15 year old is not what you need to pull yourself out of the depressed state you seem to be in. Surely there is a time when you wife can watch the kids and let you get out. Take up walking, jogging or bike riding. Just suggestions.

Hello cdbq, I agree totaly with Geyleggg. You have to make time in a marriage and it's bloody hard work. Even going to the park and feeding the ducks with your family is taking you out of the house and its all about family, right. Best wishes.

cbdq,

You sound like me without meds. You might want to see someone and get onto something yourself. You seem depressed.

I'm sorry your wife has left you high and dry. I think she is wrong.