geting down i think

hey~ i just wanted to check in... its been a crazy couple of days. i thought i was doing good i was getting to sleep at a decent time, eating, going to class, all the 'normal' thing. then sunday i stayed up until like 3 in the morning woke up at 8; not that i really did sleep just that in and out kind of sleep where everything woke me up. thats how its been the last couple of days. I know my suitemate has noticed she keeps checking up on me. I wish she would leave me alone i know that somethings wrong i know i should see the doctor and all that stuff. So i have been trying to keep it all in its hard you know, not to let anyone see the true me..... I feel like i have to be strong around everyone of my friends but really i just want to be alone and not to be bothered. but then if i am alone i get scared to be by myself and so i have to be around my friends. But i also feel like i am just a person standing there like the fifth wheel and all that stuff. I hate being friends with someone but they are not a friend back. so much stuff going on in my head i can barely concentrate my mind just wonders i guess i better go hope to hear from someone!!

Hi, from an outsiders point of view, it seems to me like the people around you want to see the true you. I know it can be frustrating when someone you care about is down or needs to talk or whatever, but they don't. At the same time, it's your proogitive if you want to share your thoughts, but it wouldn't hurt to try. Oh and that part about you hate being friends with someone who is not friends back, I think EVERYONE has delt with that at one time or another. In fact other people may feel that way about you. It's all in how you preceive it. Maybe those people you are friends with are too depressed to be a good friend back. I say this becasue i had a friend that all through high school she was dealing with her mother's cancer. She was an only adopted child and she would take advantage of the fact that i had a car and other things. She would talk to me about her problems, but it seemed like my problems just wern't important to her. I stuck with her though until i couldn't take her lying anymore. I still talk to her once in awhile, but it's not the most fun thing in the world. Anyway, what i'm trying to say is to try to evualate people carefully. There might be something salvagiable in some, and others who knows. Just remember, you don't have to marry your friends, so it's not like you will be around them forever if you don't want to be.