Support

I've been having a very hard couple of weeks and just needed someone to show me that I was still there. Realizing that I asked my brother to just shoot me a text every day just so I didn't feel so alone. I'm living on my sisters couch right now so I'm not really alone just feels that way since none of my friends contact me anymore. I know it sounds stupid but just waiting for his daily text helped. Now it has been three days with no text, I love my brother and I know he loves me I think he just is sick of my negativity. I wanted to be real with him and tell him how I really felt each day I guess even in texts I am supposed to put on a happy face. How do you go on when even a couple of text are to much to ask for from your loved ones. I went to bed very sad last night because of this and don't know what to do. I know I could just text him but when I get the text first it is just a little affirmation that someone is out there for me, someone is thinking of me. I guess I am truelly alone and no one really cares. What is the point of going on.

Martek, is this the first time he's not texted you for so long? Is everything OK with your brother?

Just got a text from him about an hour ago. He just asked how Thanksgiving was, I don't have the energy to respond if I an truthful will it be days before I hear from him again and if I put on my happy face what is the point?

I am sorry Martek that things are not better with you. You say you are on your sisters couch at the moment. How do you two get on? Obviously good when you are living with her. When you put on a happy face thats all some people see, they dont see the pain behind the smiles. Do you give your brother the impression that you are coping o.k. Best Wishes.

No. I have explained to everyone my family just thinks everything will get better on its own. My brother was one of the last people I thought I could be honest with, I was wrong. I am alone and drowning and I think I just lost my last best resource.

(((((martek))))))

Hi Martek,
It is hard with our families. It is for me, too. They just do not understand and perhaps we have to lower our expectations about them. I just had a conversation with the brother of my mom, and it was frankly disappointing. I just do not have the energy to tell you the whole story but I got zero support from him. I should not be surprised and I do not know why I bothered to call him. He never called when my mom passed away.
Anyway, in some way, we are alone with ourselves. Ultimately, we are on our own with our depression. Others can help and are important, of course, but at the end of the day we are the drivers of this car. That's why is so important to talk with other people that suffer from depression. I feel you guys are the only people can talk about depression with
Hold on in there, Martek

Yep, I am alone and I guess we all are. I wish I had a little help here and I need to do something nut every time I decide to I let my family talk me out of it. I need to be committed so that I can get some immediate assistance if I don't soon I fear it may be to late. It may already be to late I lose more of the energy required to act every day.

Sorry no help from me being that i'm in a similar position. Just sending warm thoughts and gentle hugs your way. Good luck acting on it, just jump to it.

Martek,
when you say "committed", does it mean in a hospital? Sorry to ask, I have language barriers

Yes, I am way past the crisis point and really need help I don't really have anywhere else to turn.

Perhaps it is the best to do, I am thinking of you and wish you the best, hope if you go to the hospital you will be able to connect and let us know how you are doing
I am sending you a big hug