I wish I had never been born

i wish i had never been born.

What is it that's causing you to feel that way.....something going on in your life differently now than before......having to decide whether to go to rehab or not?.....having to make decisions is always a difficult thing to do in our life....sometimes we feel if we had never been born we wouldn't have to make any decisions........especially when they are very important decisions.....

It's understandable that you are feeling the way you are right now IMO.

I'm sure there are many other things going on that are making you feel that way......it's important to understand those things that are making you feel that way as it help to understand yourself better

Losing my hair, having no job, i ordered something off ebay and it still hasn't come yet, i can't see myself having a future at all, and that's even with clear rational thinking. I really have no prospects of becoming a normal adult with normal relationships, work etc. I can't be bothered doing anything about it either.

The job market can be crud, this time of year. What about a part time job, to fill the gap? Is this part of the other thread about, good relationships?
Are you still doing therapy, didn't you just start?
Maybe today, isn't ideal, doesn't mean tomorrow won't be.
What is, 'normal', anyways? Nothing more than an illusion, if you ask me...

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Part time job could be something.

Yes, I tend to attract women who aren't very nice to me and we have shallow relationships.

Yes I just started therapy. She is a very high class therapist who probably charges 300 dollars an hour or something. I see her for free and she's not all that helpful.

I understand how you are feeling......I was in a similar place at the age of 43....for 15 years I had an engineering career & then aerospace fell all apart where I was living & there were no positions anywhere & I was trapped in a really bad marriage while my career had actually been my escape from it.....no matter what I did or tried to do.....or gave up on doing because I didn't want to even bother......I saw absolutely NO positive picture in my future.....& I just wanted to stop living.

I managed to survive through it.......& then even worse things happened in my life then all of a sudden things happened that I could have never foreseen & life completely turned around.....I am so grateful that I lived through it.

The thing is that the way we look at things when we are feeling depressed is so negative....& it's a normal way depression looks at life but things just don't stay the way we are sure they are going to because we don't see any possible way for anything else to happen differently.....but there is always something that comes up differently in our life....life just like our emotions comes in waves.

The problem we have with depression is that we don't/can't believe that anything will be differently but it does whether we choose to believe it or not......so for that reason it's important to convince ourselves & to be around supportive people & do things we don't want to.....DBT calls is "opposite action urge" & sometimes we have to FORCE ourselves to keep going even though we know the easy out is to NOT. It's basically having the conversation/fight/debate within our mind & not allowing the depression to win.

I'm honestly not sure that I would have listened to anyone at that point in my life but no one offered the logic that DBT has even though I had always been the problem solver even with my parents.

What we also need to remember is that we can feel something but don't have to act on those feelings.....just like in the store when we see something we want to buy....we don't always have to buy it....self-control is a very valuable ability to have