I think i'm depressed

I use to self harm but don't do that any more even though I still struggle with it. Today in my psych class at school we learned about major depressive disorder and all those.. and learned that it has to be at least 2 years or more.

I took the depression quiz today and scored a 54 for severe depression.
Two years ago I had taken it in November of 2011 with a 54 of severe depression. Two other times I took it and for 52 in between now and 2 years ago. It could be that I only take it when I am feeling depressed. So i don't know if I am actually depressed. I know i'm angry right now.. because I feel sad but I shouldn't.. and I wanna feel alive. So today I went to the beach instead of going home after class and it didn't help I just still feel so meh.

And it makes me angry because it's selfish to be so meh when I have so many great things happening for me in life right now.

And I'm angry.. because I feel the need for self harm this week because I feel like I need to make things right...

And It makes me confused an frustrated that i'm angry because I JuST Wanna stop and go back to happy.. and ugh.. It's in and out though..

It's dumb to talk about because really im fine...

Considering the other things with which you have struggled, I would not be surprised to find depression in the mix.
Depression takes on a life of its own and doesn't care about the quality of your life, good or bad.

I agree with Rohag. There can be many positives in one's life and depression can still dig in its heels. It does often have a life of its own, regardless whether thee are many "good" things going on.

I think many of us feel this way.....

You feel like crap in your soul. And you get mad at yourself for feeling like crap. Well - chicken or the egg???

I think these examples are the perfect example of chemical depression... where the body simply is chemically "off" and meds HAVE to be used to get you out of that damn rut.

*hugs to you. Hang in there kiddo!

I feel the same way. As matter of fact I feel like that attitude of being mad myself for being depressed is what makes me more depressed. Like others have said, you can be depressed even with so many good things in your life. Trust me, Im in the same situation.

How can I make it go away?

I haven't found the answer yet but so many wonderful people here have that there must be a way, I pray you find yours.

Ok. So tell me if this is normal- today I had a brief anxiety/sadness stage but now I feel completely fine and ready for life. I don't understand my emotions haha

I find that if I can focus on gratitude- I feel better.
I wonder how some people who have nothing can seem to be so cheery.
For instance- my best friend has no credit, is getting divorced, and is living in a studio apartment with her 2 girls and a dog! In my mind- I would be totally depressed over these circumstances but she seems to be a cheery person-more so than myself.

I had also worked with a girl who seemed to always be in a good mood. I wondered what is was that she said to herself each morning to enable herself to be in a good mood.

I wish I could be more like that kind of person. Depression sucks.

My depressive episodes can be described as "atypical" (not that the type of depression is rare) since I can laugh and enjoy things for a little while. I return to depression though and spend a great deal of time there. That's when people say "just do it" in response to my depression. They don't understand the inertia I have to work against each time.