[izzyfg2000]

I wasn't sure where else to put this, but since I've been struggling with depression and this post has to do with that, I thought I might as well put this thread here.

So, as some of you may know, I struggle with depression, anxiety, blahblahblah... A while ago, I told my dad about it, and that actually made things better for a while. Soon though, once school and relationships started to catch up with me, things got very suddenly worse. I cut myself a few times, thought about dying, and I hid this all from my parents, even from my dad, who knew I was struggling with some emotional stuff. After maybe a month or so, I had had enough. Not having anybody know was one of the worst parts of it. In the car, while I was with my mom, I told her....this is kind of how it went:

Mom: You seem a bit tense

Izzy: Um..yeah...I kinda want to tell you something.

M: OK...

I: I think that...I feel....I have issues with depression.

At that point, i was crying, mostly out of fear that she'd have bad reaction. It went pretty well, actually. We parked in the parking lot of Target, and talked about everything for maybe an hour or so. My dad knows about me telling her, and they're both working on finding me a T. So....there's that

One last thing....I have a boyfriend, whom I've known since the beginning of this year of school. He really was my only friend at the time because he was willing to talk to the awkward, sad looking girl at the back of the classroom. We never exactly "officially" proclaimed the fact that we were dating. After getting to know him, I've realized that dating him isn't really what I wanted. I still want to be friends with him, of course, but his view points on the world and his clinginess to me just makes dating him less attractive. I thought that I would talk to him about this today, but when I was hanging out with before the bell, and a few friends, he said something that kind of changed my mind. I was ranting about stores using Comic SANS. After i was finished he laughed, and said that that was awesome. I laughed too, seeing this as a compliment, of course. The bell rang, and he had to get to his class, which was across from mine. Quickly, as he got up, he said to me "I love you."
I didn't know if I should have felt absolutely flattered, or absolutely petrified. Maybe both. Anyway, i feel like if I talk to him about breaking up, but still being "just friends," he'll get angry with me and we wont even be able to be friends. I'm a terrible person if I break up with him....I really don't know what to do about all this crap...grr....

Anyway...These are just a few things I wanted to update you guys with... thanksss...

[kaliope]

izzy
I am really glad to hear your parents are responsive to your needs. never stop talking to them. you need their support and it is great they are willing to give it to you.

as for the boy, let him down easy. just tell him things are going way too fast. that you are going thru some personal things right now and are not ready for a relationship. youre happy to hang out as you have been in school but nothing more.

take care of yourself.

[Pierro]

Izzy, its great that you have support from your parents. As for the boy"friend". I think maybe if you say that you have to sort your own head out first as it wouldnt be fair on him, or you, and this is all true. Taking time out from this relationship is a great move, a positive one. Best wishes to you Izzy, I hope you find a suitable therapist soon. Best wishes to you.

Iz,

Very sorry to hear you are struggling so much.... and (I think) it is always more sucky when the darkness attacks you during this time of the year (when everyone else "seems" happy - but you are not feeling happy).

Here are a few positives for you to ponder on:
1) You have guts. You can not deny that it took a lot of guts to be honest with your parents about how you are feeling and your self harm stuff. I would have NEVER had the guts to do that.... (in fact - I still haven't told them).

2) You are a bright. Your intellectual humor shows me very clearly that you are above the norm

3) You are not "the sad looking girl" (IMO)..... Speaking as a guy (and NO, I am not hitting on you - I am waaaaaaaaaaay too old for that) - you are a very, very attractive person. And I would wager that when you do get laughing - that you have an awesome smile.

I hope you find that smile. I hope you get whatever help you need. I hope you have a great Christmas and I hope you get to live out the happy life that you deserve to enjoy!

[izzyfg2000]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

Iz,

Very sorry to hear you are struggling so much.... and (I think) it is always more sucky when the darkness attacks you during this time of the year (when everyone else "seems" happy - but you are not feeling happy).

Here are a few positives for you to ponder on:
1) You have guts. You can not deny that it took a lot of guts to be honest with your parents about how you are feeling and your self harm stuff. I would have NEVER had the guts to do that.... (in fact - I still haven't told them).

2) You are a bright. Your intellectual humor shows me very clearly that you are above the norm

3) You are not "the sad looking girl" (IMO)..... Speaking as a guy (and NO, I am not hitting on you - I am waaaaaaaaaaay too old for that) - you are a very, very attractive person. And I would wager that when you do get laughing - that you have an awesome smile.

I hope you find that smile. I hope you get whatever help you need. I hope you have a great Christmas and I hope you get to live out the happy life that you deserve to enjoy!

Thank you so much for all of the kind words!!! I hope you have a great Christmas as well

Your welcome... and HUGE hugs to you kiddo!