[trippythreesix]

Hey again,

Please take a look at my original post for some back-story.

I want help. No. I need help. I have schizophrenia, borderline, and depression in my family and I am scared. I had a brief episode of Self-Harm last year, in which i completed the minimum amount of counselling required to be admitted back into my high school. It was an ugly episode of self harm and "ruined my mothers reputation as a teacher". So she didnt want me to continue counselling. She said "You dont need it. Lets just put it behind us and never speak of it again." Awesome.

So anytime something along the lines of Mental Health is brought up it gets real awkward real fast. I live a fairly solid life. Brief (3 year) poverty including some other hiccups mention in the post above (click here). My sister is two years younger than me, I am 16), therefore she looks up to me alot and I know I hurt her with my self harm and set a precedence that its okay. Well it's not, not for her. I cant let her be like me.

Now my mom is remarried and we are much more financially sound. Until my stepdad got laid off two weeks ago.

He is a finance manager for a branch of Bank of America and is very frugal and smart with his money, a quality I lack hahah, so were okay for the next 6 months or so, also he has some life savings we can dip into in the emergency that he doesn't have a new job within 6 months.

My problem is seeking help. How can i seek help if the impenetrable wall, meaning intolerable...for me, of awkwardness between my parents, pain and confusion I would cause my hormonal and emotional 14 year old sister, and the financial burden I would add to my step dad and mom is standing in my way of help?

Sorry if the post is hard to follow, it takes me forever to write these freaking things. I cant think straight or control my thoughts, If anyone could tell me why that'd be awesome too haha.

Trippy

[Idiot17]

I don't have any advice for you since i got the same reaction from my parents. How about approaching a guidance counselor in school? Or do you have an adult in your life that you trust and respect that you can speak to? Be as honest as you can with your sister, if she looks up to you it'll hurt her so much more if you lie to her. Good luck.

[Rohag]

Yes, it's a pickle.

• If you go for any type of help, your parents - particularly your mother - will almost certainly find out.
• If you don't go for help, whatever problems you may have will go untreated, exposing you and your family to the possible consequences.

When you were in counseling, who paid for it and how? Are you covered under your mother's plan as a teacher?

[trippythreesix]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Yes, it's a pickle.

• If you go for any type of help, your parents - particularly your mother - will almost certainly find out.
• If you don't go for help, whatever problems you may have will go untreated, exposing you and your family to the possible consequences.

When you were in counseling, who paid for it and how? Are you covered under your mother's plan as a teacher?

Exactly my issue...

My dad apparently wired a small amount to help but i haven't seen him in almost six months and during that time I hadn't seen him in God knows how long. So essentially my mom paid for it, I tried not to talk about money because when i would get in the car after a session that's the first thing she talked about and it sucked. So I am unsure whether insurance or what helped out. I have covered by her school district's plan though because my mom always says "Dont do anything too stupid.. The districts insurance does cover much" haha

[healingme4me]

I sooo get the brush it under the carpet routine. There's so much lit out there, saying, if your child is self harming, get it attended to, listen, support, etc. (a mind blowing read, for someone who had her own stuff dismissed as a teen)
You sound like there's much more going on, than just sh. I clicked the link to your first post.
Are you serious about seeking out help?
If you are, there's forums here, to start self help, and maybe, there's ways around, but not sure, since you are a minor, getting some therapy? Have you checked out, the Addictions Forum, SI forum, and perhaps check out bi-polar and personality place, to perhaps find your way back, to being a shining role model, for your little sister?

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

[trippythreesix]

I'm not sure. The more I think about it the more sad and angry I feel about it all and the less I care/want help.

Trippy