[polkadotpixie]

This is kind of hard to explain but I think I'm jealous of my sister feeling bad if that makes sense?

I have had depression and anxiety problems for years and I feel like its all I am sometimes as my family treats me differently to my sister because of it

She is having a hard time at the minute, she hates college and her boyfriend has split up with her and she is really down

I do feel sad for her but I also think what about me???, just cause I feel like that every day doesn't mean it gets any easier and I feel forgotton

Now I feel bad because she is my sister and I shouldn't feel like like this but I do . But if the depressed girl is all I am (which is how I'm treated sometimes) and I'm not the only one now, who am I?

Am I a bad person?
Why do I feel like this?
Why am I so selfish?

Aaagh, sorry for the rant, I'm just really confused

[Junerain]

For polkadot pixie..

sometimes our feelings come out in different ways...not always the norm..but dont feel bad ABOUT FEELING BAD feelings vary drastically and most people have inappropriate ones whether they share them or not. For me, I babysat for this rich beautiful family and when the girl got older she was diagnosed with mental illness and my feelings were relief... it wasn't just me.... I didn't even feel bad for her, just happy. No one seemed to understand my feelings....feelings are complex things..dont always fit into an agenda or with reasons..seems like a lot of your identity comes from your illness...dont forget you are more than your illness!! Write us back and let us know however your feelings are no matter what they are.

[Boopers]

Don't feel bad because people are paying more attention to your sister than you. Those are normal feelings. We all hurt and when one so close gets the attention and the other is left out, then of course, it's going to hurt.

I'm sorry they don't understand that you also need their attention and love and understanding.

Know that we care!!

Linda

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( polkadotpixie ))))))))))))))))

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope things get better for you, having a mental disorder leads to negative feelings, when the struggle is so hard sometimes, I just want you to know that you are not alone, and I hope that you feel better about your sister soon. Take care Soidhonia

[JustAPixie]

((((((((( Hugs )))))))))

[Christina86]

Hi polkadotpixie - I don't believe I've ever met you before, but welcome to PC.

You are not a bad person. Sometimes people just need to know that someone even remotely feels the same way they do. If, however, you had caused your sister's problems that would be a different situation - but seeing as her current problems have nothing to do with you --- I KNOW it is not your fault and NO you are NOT a bad person.

Have you talked to your family or your sister about how you truly feel? They may react negatively, but at the same time they may begin to understand how the way they've treated you in the past was hurtful and should not have happened.

*hugs* Please take care of yourself.

[polkadotpixie]

Hi everyone

Thanks to you all for replying...it makes me feel better that I'm not the only person in the world who feels the way I do (sorry if that is selfish)

I spoke to my sister about the way I was feeling and she was really nice about it and said that it was a totally different situation as she is down because some bad things are happening to her at the minute and although there is nothing particularly wrong with my life, I feel bad because of a problem I have with depression and not to feel guilty for feeling the way I do because I can't help it

I still feel really bad for being such a selfish and self-obsessed person but at least she knows now and I don't have to hide it anymore!

You'd never believe she is my younger sister would you?...she's so sensible and level headed!

[JustAPixie]

I'm so glad you were able to talk to her!!!!!!!!!