Rant.

If I didn't have any family I could just end it now, but the pain and suffering it would cause them is what keeps me here, imprisoned in this life. I couldn't do that to them but I am horribly depressed right now and can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I have no direction in life, hardly any qualifications, I've lost all my friends, I am a lonely, sad little person. It's as though I'm being made to live my life as some sort of punishment. And for wanting to die I feel horribly, horribly guilty, almost sick with guilt.

I am burdening my family just by existing, but I don't think they realise that... they would be so much better off without me. I don't know what to do any more, I'm sick of this life, I don't want to feel this way.

...

Twigg, I'm sorry you are hurting so bad. I feel the same way most of the time, but I, too, realize the pain and suffering it would cause my family. But we can't make judgements for other people. I've read too much on PC to tell me the families really suffer. But I wouldn't be broken hearted if I just cease to exist at any time. I hope that light shows up for you, even though, the tunnel is long.

Is there a way to make the pain stop?

Sorry to hear that, Twigg. I am hurting myself; to be honest I do not think that the pain will ever truly go away. But I'd like to believe that it can eventually be reduced to a manageable level over time, with therapy.
I know it's difficult to stay positive when you feel there's no way out, but please hang on to the belief that things will get better over time.
I wish u strength in these difficult times.

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