My ex

I was just starting to see a little light, my brother is helping get my car fixed and a few other small things, and then this weekend my ex told me I can't get my son. It is my weekend and I knew this was coming but it really hurts none the less. I truly have nothing left in my life. At one time I would have been considered a success, now everything I own is in about 6 small boxes. I have lost everything I ever had and it is all my fault. Please don't patronize my and say it wasn't most of it was deliberate. I can't explain the rational but I have been sabotaging my life for years and it has all hit this weekend. I have no reason to go on, none at all. This weekend is going to be beyond hard, I don't know what I am going to do. He is the only reason I wake up at all and without him why go on?

Martek, when is your next scheduled weekend with your son?

Not until the 17th.

Well, on the + side, you will be seeing him on the 17th so (with no malice or condescension implied) in contrary to your statement of no reason to hold on... you do in fact have that to wait for

I can't possibly imagine what it is like to be in your position as I have no children and I am with my wife... but with your admission to sabotage... well, having recognised it, isn't that a step towards moving forward?

unfortunately I think this is the beginning of the end, My ex has been talking a lot lately about cutting my visitation. I have rights but the only way to enforce them is take her to court, I can't afford that. I put her through school, supported her in her every endeavor, and now that I am having trouble with child support she has no more use for me.

She cannot do that. Do you know if there is any association for parents rights to help you? Here in my city we have one, I will look online and send you a link if i find something

On the one hand, I can see how harmful it is, to not receive anticipated bill money for survival, as a single mom. On, the other hand, I find this type of withholding of visitation, as punishing, cruel, and has lasting effects on children.
At what point, do we swallow adult pride, and recognize children do love their parents, warts and all.

I just emailed my ex, under visitation court ordered guidelines, since home tourneys were claused in, with the modified restraining order, as is email pertaining to modifying visits, less court time, said, I'd bend on states. he just needs to be on an opposite end of gym.

Thoughts are with you,

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I made the mistake of letting my ex bully me into an unfair child support agreement. When we were married I put her through college, supported her in her career then let her set Child support to an amount I had no way of covering. It is based on income and in the divorce proceedings she filled out with her lawyer that I made over 50,000, at the time I had started a new job making 24,000. With the way things were half my small income went to support payments. This was one of my many mistakes in life. She now makes over 70,000 and I know it is still my responsibility but I would have hoped that with everything I had done for her she would be a little tolerant. Just one more example of how worthless I truly am, my ex who I was with for almost 20 years hates me so much that she would do this.

Regardless, it is the right of the child to have regular contact with his father. It is the right of the father as well, but just thinking on the best interest of the child, any court would agree that visits should not be suspended. I left some links about father's rights and legal help pro bono for you on your profile page. I am hopeful you can get the visits back.
A hug