slipping...

Oh Orion,

I'm so sorry. I hope things will be better for you.
Hope you feel better soon!!

LInda

We go through life for the sole purpose of pleasing others, doing as they wish, helping them, trying to make them proud of you… we fall to social standards, do what society and our culture sees as right, ignore all that’s taboo… try to be as people think we should…

So really, who are we? We defiantly aren’t ourselves… mere creations of society is all we are… we don’t have a “life” just an existence…


Then even after all this existing for others what happens? Nothing! It’s all totally in vane…

They either leave or give up on you… they never stick about… say they care when in reality they would just feel guilty if anything happened…
Ask if you’re ok but don’t want a true answer, just expect “ye, I’m fine. How are you?”, they don’t want the truth, doubt they’d know how to react to “no I’m not ok, nothing’s ok, the bloody world is slowly crumbling but I can do nothing but watch, trapped inside some bubble of mere existence experiencing nothing but witnessing all.” They’d just quickly move on the subject, they don’t want the truth, they just want to display some fake and forced sense of community, some idea that they do truly care for others when in reality they don’t

Don’t have a life… have an existence… lifeless… and if there is no life, how can there be death? But there can be a cease to existence, just not to life, there can’t be a cease to what isn’t there


pointless futile existance... trapped within as promiced not to let it cease... trapped, pointless, worthless, futiles, lifeless, existance, and nothing more

Hello I hope you are doing better at this time. I am going to leave you the hotline number to call, and talk to someone about your concerns if you wish 1-800-273-TALK. NAMI and DBSA both offer some very good support groups, and can be found on the internet. When you have a good support system things are a lot easier to bear. Have you called your therapist and told them your concerns, they may be able to help you with your problems as well, or adjust medication if needed. Winter is a rather cruel season for depression or bipolar, and sometimes medication has to be adjusted to be able to get through the winter. Also there are lights available that can help as well and can or should be able to be found under (lights for depression) and they are rather reasonable in price. You may be able to get one with a prescription from your Dr as well, if you have insurance. I hope things get better for you soon. Take care sincerely Soidonia

i dontt unrderstand.. ana hour agoo i was reaady to ge t rid of it all... poof, gone.. but then I coullndt... that's never happeened before...

it hit me.. he's dead... he's thereee... whene i die hes'll be htere... and one day i iwll die... everyone dies, and he'll be there


gonee from suicidal to beeing trerified of death in an hour...

Please take care of yourself. *hugs* You are special and important just like everyone else here is.