SLIPPING

I think Im slipping back into a depression.
Ive been so good lately.Our garage and car was broken into 3 weeks ago and its been STRESS since then.Ive been walking ,gardening etc trying to keep my mind off things but to no avail.
I think I might have screwed up my meds cause when we went on a motorcycle tour the bouncing must have caused my dualith to turn part powder.When I got home after a week there was at least a tablespoon of powder on the bottom of the bottle.
Like the idiot I am I kept taking them anyways.Ive got a new script now but I think Ive either bottomed out on the dose or the "powder"pills screwed me up.
I seriously am considering quiting therapy too.Distance is the biggest factor and Im terrified that work will ask questions why I need so much time off.
Therapy in my own town is possible but again its a small community....Im terrified of the stigma.
Right now Im concentrating on NOT SHing....
Thanks for reading my rant.
Missing Onyx and Tucker too......I wonder where they went?

Dreamrunner
I hope that everything is okay with you...I am awating the possiblity of my next depression... remember we are all here for you.
I know that it is hard to make it to therapy every week and that traveling is a problem...but hang in there with the therapy. I am in the same boat that u are in...I made the mistake on my last job of letting them know that I am bipolar...that was the wrong thing to do...the stigma did not bode well for me...On my new job I have not told anyone. But when I asked what my schedule was for one day next week...and said that I had to go to the doc (T) I was terrified that someone would ask me what kind of doc appt. I had...there was no way that I would tell them a Therapist appointment.
So, I think that I totally understand what you are going through... Please continue with your meds and therapy. We are here for you

~~~~~~~~~~~dreamrunner~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm here, reading the post. there's really not much for me to say. miss u all, but i take one step forward and slide back three. can't seem to get out. thought i was making a break-thru early in the week, but not to be so. i'm afaird they're going to put me in the hospital. everyone is at a lost, of what to do or say to me, nothing helps. so i lay in bed stairin out the window. to weak to do anything, body is trembling, the manic fog has set in hard. i'm fighting hard but goin nowhere.

will let u know what happens..........

ps i have tried many times to contact onyx, to no avail. i just don't know, wish i did..............

mark..

Sorry you feel like your heading down...though knowing is an interesting thing...it does allow you to make some corrections to minimize it...

I've been up, down, mixed, and back and forth rapidly...

Let the new scrips get into your system and take what ever is in your "backpack" that can help...

You guys are awesome....thanks.
It feels so good to be understood.

Tucker....Im saying a prayer for both you and Onyx.

i am down, there is no magic bag of tricks for me this time. knowing has not made it interesting, its tearing my life, my families life apart. there have been NO drugs that have worked for me.

sorry direction, don't mean to take this out on you. i know some of what you been thru, i'm at my lowest point, don't think i can take the hospital again, if you've ever been you would know.

lost, scared, alone with all these thoughts that keep racing thru my mind....

~~~~~~dreamrunner

thanks for your pm, i will wait it out like you said. i can't help myself know, how can i help her................

mark

Onyx, wrote, shes ok....................

t/c

me

I'm taking a class 2 hours for 20 weeks that is suppose to help set up a structure or way to help use the tools we probably already know...I'll share as much as I can...it is geared towards BPD as least originally developed for it...but it really has to do with Emotional Intensity and think it will probably help with my BP as well...

P.S. Tucker now offence taken...sorry you are down too...

I'll take all the help I can get Direction.....thanks

DIRECTION,

Very bad week, I am sorry, uncalled for..................

Mark.

(((( all on this thread )))

Hope things lighten up soon for all.

I'll keep you posted on the class...we meet again tomorrow...first week was more of introduction...

How are you doing today?