[Martek]

Ok for the past several months I have been writing a end letter to my brother in email and just saving it as a draft. The letter started as some information he would need but over time it became like a journal of my pain. Lately I have been in a very bad place so the letter turned very dark also.Today I sent it instead of hitting the save button he called me within minutes worried. I asked him to delete it but I know it was already read so now what. He asked how he could help but I don't have any answers. I've just managed to cause even more pain for my family.

[Auntie2014]

There is a journaling technique called Unsent Letters. Rather than using your email account try just creating a word document. The technique is often used in therapy CSA and Grief/Loss. Just because you write a letter does not mean that you need to send it. I even write letters to myself. Using my computer to write the letters just helps me see things differently from when I write in my journal. My thought process is just different.

Sorry that you sent the email and hope that you will find another outlet to use next time

[ToeJam]

Well, on a positive note, he is now aware (or at least more clued in) and that can't hurt if he's of a supportive nature.

Generally speaking I write most emails (and sometimes posts for forums) via word documents... gives me time to read over, edit, correct and also evaluate if it's suitable for posting or not... + it can be easily saved for future reference.

[gayleggg]

Sounds like you have a very caring bother. Now that he knows what you are going through he could be a big support person for you in the future. Hopefully he will be there when you need someone to listen.

But do keep writing whether in a journal or using something other than email to write unsent letters. Writing is a good practice of getting your feelings out. If others have access to your computer there are journaling software programs that can be password protected.

Best wishes.

[Clara22]

Hi,
Just being there for you it is a big deal. Once you have your Medicaid and so on, could he help you to find the Pdoc, or drive you to the sessions?

[Pierro]

Martek, Maybe it's a good thing that he knows. Subconciously maybe you wanted him to know. He sounds like a really caring brother, one who has your back. Best wishes.

[Martek]

Well I was afraid my brother would overreact to my email but evidently not. We talked for about 15 minutes after I sent it and now two days later have heard nothing from him at all. Not so much as a text message saying how ya doing, oh well

[sans]

Martek,
Sorry. I know what it feels like for needs to be unfulfilled. We have to care for ourselves ultimately. There could be many reasons for not hearing from him, and probably due to something that means nothing about your significance to your brother. More likely, he is caught up in his life.
Hope you are feeling better!
Sandy

Hi Martek, I did a similar thing once with a girl that I wanted to tell how much I loved her. I wrote the letter for days and then sent the message without thinking, only realizing later what I had done. Now we don't speak anymore because of it and I don't think we ever will. It's really bad because I genuinely cared for her and loved her.