[katherine2]

Grew up in a dysfunctional life. Poor as a child and no stable home, amom had several different boyfriends, sexually molested a couple of times, and found out I was adopted at 33. Lost my amom at 41. Have no relatives but my two children. Have few friends that do not live never by. Ex husband was and is still missed up. Never got remarried because I was afraid my kids would be sexually molested. A mom said my birth mom was ugly, however, I have search for several years and spent tons of money and still have no answers. Boyfriend I see mainly on weeksends for 14 years is an alcoholic and makes me feel bad by talking about going to bars and making me feel like he always wants to pick up other women but I'm afraid of getting involved with anyone else because of my past and I've been with him so long. Plus I'm almost 50 and he trys to make me feel old. It's hard to get up and work and try to survive. I feel so alone and helpless I times. I have a hard time thinking because I get so upset. There is so much more I could say but I'm trying to make this short as my last comment disappeared before I was finished.

[Rohag]

Welcome to posting Katherine2.

Wow. Without actually trying to diagnose, my impression is the accumulated severe stresses you have endured and continue to endure are fully capable of pushing you over the threshold of "normal" sadness into the mood disorder known as Major Depression.

Originally Posted by katherine2

There is so much more I could say but I'm trying to make this short as my last comment disappeared before I was finished.

Sorry that happened. Take your time; write out what you want, post what you want.

I'm no mental health expert, but your life experiences have caused you to be depressed. You also seem to have low self esteem. I'm sorry to hear about everything that has happened to you- Are you currently taking any medication for depression? If not, you should get on some meds. Paxil is good, it has helped me a lot.

You can get it from your family Dr. which is much cheaper than going to a psychiatrist. As for your b.f, what a jerk. He is emotionally and mentally abusing you. If you can support yourself and your kids, leave him. You should tell him that makes you feel bad and to stop trying to make you feel like that. It sounds like maybe therapy might help you? It never really helped me, but you might want to give it a try and maybe it might help you.

[Fuzzybear]