Help, SOS

This is the first time I do this, I am glad I found a place where I can write about myself and my issues, seeking advice desperately. I have several issues and some of them I think I know what they are. Just to give you examples:
- I don't take the train to avoid people , most of the time I take taxis to and back from work. I don't go to lunch. See I am from country X and I came to this country L 14 years ago as a student. Then I started to work and then I met an L lady got married and have two daughters, I can't afford to get depressed but I want to go back to X but I have bought an apartment with huge loan, which makes it difficult to go back and more importantly my L wife doesn't want to go back with me.
When I first came to L people were nice very polite and enjoyed the first years but now with economic crisis stress levels are hyper and now people here are very xenophobic, where ever I go I suffer from the mistreatment of people, trains, banks, everywhere. So I rather avoid goon outside , specially with my kids now who are getting bigger and can notice.
- so this situation pushes me to drink.
To overeat.
- I take Xanax wypax, meilax to help my anxiety, but it makes me weak and then I underperform at work.
- I have had many bad experiences in L and I see people from L as a cruel race. But this conflicts because I love my L wife.
- I have no friends no one to talk to like this what should I do.

I suffer from:
Depression
Anxiety
Panic attack
Pain

I'm 38 and I wonder if Ivan make I by the age of 60.

I'm not a bad guy, I work hard, I follow the rules and I don't do things bad to anyone, why do I have to suffer so much?








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I have anxiety all the time.

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Hello & Welcome, Tanaka. You describe an exceptionally difficult situation. In addition to depression and anxiety, you have to deal with intercultural strains.

Have you worked with your prescribing doctors to find the smallest therapeutic dose of your medications?

Is there an organization of expatriates of your homeland in your present country?

Please make yourself at home here, Tanaka.

Rohag, thank you for your kind comments. This situation is very hard for me, to get out of bed this morning I had to beg for my wife to hug me and kiss me, an she did and it worked it got me up, but why always beg... .... I feel sad somehow


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It seems women want a man that treats them wrong

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There are expats group here but they don't necessarily work

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Rohag, I'm taking your advice I will try to reach out to groups and participate more on that

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Today was a good day, not that bad. But maybe because I use my meds too much.

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I hate to depend on them but they help

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It is Sunday night and have to start work soon Monday, I feel nervous and sad. I like my job but with my situation I wish there was a way to hey happy

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Have you vocalized this to your wife ? Does she understand how hard things are for you right now ?