Is there anyone like me!

Over the last few months my depression has lessened, I am on 225 mg Efexor, but I think I am from the frying pan into into the fire! Dont get me wrong, I am "happy" that my depression has gone but on that note I really could not care less if I lived or died. I am not suicidal, but if I got hit by a bus maybe it might be for the best. Am I still depressed, just on another level? I just dont know. If there is anyone out there like me, how do you make yourself "care" about yourself. I am just going through the motions, but I dont "feel" anything. What are we doing it all for ??

I do feel like that a lot of the time. I think that it would help to make a list of all the things that you do for people and what would be missed if you were gone.

I feel like often depression is a culmination of all these symptoms coming together so when it lessens you really start to notice and question things that you never really did before. It gives you a really interested look into life but also can make a lot of things meaningless.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you but I guess I just stop myself from thinking of those sorts of issues? I've kind of given up finding the meaning of life for now (I'll figure it out when I figure it out) and decided to give it my best shot. Unless you believe in reincarnations, we only live one life so I figure I might as well use it as best as I can. I mean, I wouldn't mind if I died but at the same time, it would be nice if it was heroic in some sort of sense so I'll keep looking for my perfect ending and until then try my best? Who knows haha

I feel the same way. All I think about is how I which I was dead. Not so much to end my life on my own anymore. Just don't want to be here anymore. I just don't care what happens to me.

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Me, too. Sometimes, an external thing wakes me up. Like an emergency. Of course, what i am telling you is not useful to implement

I feel the same way. Three weeks ago I was ready to give up after 6 weeks of crushing sadness. I managed to survive through two days of severe suicidal thoughts. After that all my feelings gradually disappeared. Now, I don't really know what I feel or if I am even depressed.

I don't know what to make of this.

Well, that's a side-effect that comes up with SSRIs, even though this researcher who is funded by pharma companies is careful to downplay that:

> Other subjective side-effects are not usually considered by healthcare professionals, yet ‘blunting of emotions’ is mentioned by some people who take SSRIs, in clinic and on web forums. They report that, although they feel less emotional pain than before, they also experience a restricted range of other emotions that are a normal part of everyday life.

Emotional side-effects of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors: qualitative study

This is the major reason I wouldn't take them. I'd rather look the devil straight in the eye than feel dead inside (my word for what I experienced).

So it's quite understandable that it happens. I found a tiny dose would take the edge off the most hellish emotions (like 1/10 of what they wanted me to take, and then only a couple times a week) but of course the doctor will never recommend that. They want to be in charge of how much you take.

yea, when you think your finally better but then...you just don't give a damn anymore

Thanks for the link H3rmit!

I am with you friend! I feel your pain! I also take Effexor.....best one I have been on thus far!

I've been on effexor for about 3 months now almost, I'm feeling kinda numb lately all the time, maybe this is what you're feeling, and that kinda I-don't-really-care-anymore symptom is definitely there. I've been thinking I'm getting more depressed. Maybe my emotions are just blunted?

I feel the same way most of the time. I also think that while anti depressants may help, they don't really solve the root problem. Sometimes our depression is a result of other things in our life too. I think these pills too just kind of make you feel numb, like you're just 'existing'