My depression is getting really bad

I have been struggling with my depression lately. I have been getting a really strong suicidal urges lately, & sometimes they are overwhelming. I have just been really depressed, & irritability lately. I take out on people really close to me, & I am driving them away. I try to control it, but I just can not stop, then this makes me feel a lot worse.

Are these suicidal urges frequent? Are you taking any medications to help with your depression/ seeing a therapist? What's got you spinning out of control?

I don't have much to add, except I am so sorry you are going through this. When I spiral I can be pretty nasty as well.

Is there anything that you like to do? Something that makes calm? Maybe a creative outlet, or meditation, getting a hug from someone? You may not feel like it but sometimes it can help just enough to pull you back.

(((((((Fox and the Hound)))))))

The Fox and the Hound, have you thought about hospitalization? You might just need to do that to get stabilized and get a sense of hope back.

(((Fox)))) ................ I am the hound.

((((((( The Fox and the Hound )))))))

I don't know if this is helpful at all but whenever I get particularly antsy in a bad way I normally go to a crowded bookstore and people watch for a while or maybe read. I have a bad habit of usually being in my room when really bad emotions hit so now I barely ever stay in my room to do anything--too many bad emotions were bottled in there. But yeah, putting yourself in a public place and watching people go by is really calming for some reason to me. But Curupira said it well. Best of luck!