Best friend distant from me

Hello

My BFF is struggling with depression at the present and has told me she is trying to keep it together. What is confusing me is that in the last couple of weeks she has become distant from me. When I have seen her she has been a little snappy and I see the sadness in her eyes and her struggle to even smile. Then I saw her with others on another day and she was laughing with them. She has also spent a couple of social evenings out with other people recently. She seems completely different with me.

We have been best friends for quite some time and I know all about her personal struggles. It feels like she is shutting me out and I don't know why. I haven't put any pressure on her to talk and she knows that I will always be here for her.

Is this normal for people suffering from depression to distance themselves form some people and not others?

It makes me very sad.

I don't know anything about your friend other than what you mentioned here so I'm only expressing my opinion here and nothing more.
I have depression but I'm in better condition now, and speaking from experience, it is generally much easier to fake being fine and happy in front of people I either barely know or don't connect so deeply emotionally. You've gone through a lot with your friend and that is wonderful of you, trust me your friend is grateful of it, but this makes faking happiness difficult which is probably why she's avoiding you. If she's anything like me she might be feeling as if she's constantly troubling you with her 'condition' and burdening you with her troubles, and what you see may just be her way of trying to convince you she's fine.
But again I don't know her so I think the best way for you to find out for sure is asking her.

It is for me. I cannot speak twoards your friends motivation, but for me it is not that I am trying to distance myself, it's more that I let my gaurd down around cetain people.

It took a long time for my husband to understand that I wasn't trying to push him away I was just fighting so hard to keep moving that I had no energy for anything else.

When we are around other people I put on my party face. I don't want people to know I am depressed so I laugh and smile, tell jokes etc. but it wears me out and I always pay for it the next day.

What helped in my husband was finding resources to help him understand what I was going through. There are lots of books, online comics, and even online games that can help you understand their point of view and help you with the stress.

It sounds like you are a wonderful caring friend. I hope it works out for you

Ouch - that hurts. Maybe because the people your friend has been hanging out with don't know as much about her as you do, she might find some relief from her issues when she is with them - sort of like pretending things are OK for a while. It may feel like it is about you but it is really about her. She may just be sick and tired of being sick and tired.

You can bet that when she has a problem, you will be the first one she calls. Stay in 'gentle' touch with her - she needs you and you need her.

Hello & Welcome, Lucy_Jane.
Well said. You're BFFs. She can (for the present, anyway) hide the truth from them; she can't hide it from you.
Some distance themselves from everyone; others from a select few. It is painful for you, and I believe you are taking the right approach.

Ellen's Depression Primer
Allie Brosh's Personal Description of Depression

Thankyou all for your comments.

I am grateful for the insight, it does make a lot of sense to me. Whilst I cannot help feeling incredibly hurt at this time, all of your comments have helped eased the pain I feel.

So again, thankyou

friends ebb and flow we all have friends who sort of drift away as our lives take different paths naturaly It is tough sometimes but as we get older we come to understand it. It's nothing you did!