[lizzpayan]

Hello,
I am new to this.....I've had depression bfor about 4 year already and it just seems to be gettibg worst. I am an emotional rollercoaster. . Iam married and my husband just doesn't seem to help with my problem. I usually stay home alone when he goes out with his friends, I do get mad because he leaves and then I get sad and blame my self; for getting mad at him :s my brain is a mess . My head then starts to jurt then every single part of my body feels stiff my jaw is tense and ny meds don't seem to help much. Can anyine help me control my emotions. Iam afraid i will one day become bypolar.my doctor told me that I have an anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. Gosh sometimes I just hate my self for being like this.

[qtpiwitch]

been there. done that. got the t-shirt. lol i know what you are feeling and i want you to know you are not alone. it is soooo frustrating when the person you care so much about doesn't seem to care it wasn't until tears later that i found out he was going through his own stuff and wanted to but didn't know how. i hope that maybe by being on here and hearing that you aren't alone helps. oh and by the way being bi-polar isn't the end of the world... i'm bi-polar and being diagnosed actually helps because it's a chemical imbalance and sometimes all you need is to get balanced. just saying!

[Frankbtl]

Hi, WELCOME!! Have you told your husband exactly what he needs to be doing to help you. Maybe have a think about all the things you'd like him to be doing, including the "little" things then at least if he's got trouble committing to the "bigger" things you've still got something to be going on and a little more support.
And although maybe you're not feeling like going out much (?) perhaps agree with him that one of the nights he'd be going out with his friends you two go out together instead. It might just give you a little boost? And open the doors for communication between you a little more, do you think?
And when he's out maybe find/plan something you can do to distract you from his having gone out. Even if you just start with having a relaxing bath? then try to work on doing something you might enjoy/come to enjoy?
And anyone you can call, talk to or just chat to when you're feeling alone? Although we're here too!
But keep writing down exactly how you've been feeling so you're going to be able to tell your pdoc/doctor at your next visit. And hey, even book a sooner appointment if you feel you're really struggling for a review of your medication.
Alison

[lizzpayan]

Thanks for your comment s .. after a good night sleep I've been able to control my self more . I just what to stop feeling to dependant of my husband . And I have told hI'm to comprehend me to be patient with me .. but lets face it its not simple living with a sick person so at the same time I don't blame him I just get so confused with my own thoughts

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[Frankbtl]

Hi, I think you're focusing a little much on you being a problem (?) in the relationship. I'd say he has his part to play too, if he's not fully understanding and regularly out with his friends instead of with you at times. So "a two way street" really??
Sure, there may be things you want to work on e.g. feeling better, more secure, more dependent,,,,,,,,but maybe you can work on things together including him learning to be more understanding. And you know with a bit more open communication maybe you can find more of a balance between you.
And perhaps if you talked to him about what simple things might make a difference to him as well e.g. if he'd really like you to make him a drink (tea/coffee!) sometimes when he came in you could maybe manage that?? And then maybe feel a little more in control/less dependant/feel a bit more of a balance???
Just thinking though, does he go along with you to any of your appointments with professionals, maybe then he could appreciate more of what you're going through? And be in a better position to support you when you need it (I'm guessing there is some stuff you've held back from him) leading onto you not suffering quite as badly and a closer relationship? I don't know, do you think that might help??
Alison