[ConnorDayman]

I've been stuck in a city I despise for the last 5 years. No job opportunities, the people here are a bunch of pricks, the city itself is ugly as all hell, etc. I've been working my *** off to find a way to leave but it just seems like I am stranded here. To add insult to injury, I have pretty well thrown away my entire early 20's. I will be 24 in a month and I have no happy memories, no valuable experiences, etc, to show for it because I have been stuck here.

I'm having a tough time understanding what the purpose of all of this has been. Am I some sort of experiment or something? Why does everyone else, my age, and particularly of my generation, have so much, and I have so little? That's the question I've been desperately needing an answer to. I don't have anyone or anything to relate my experience to, so I have to deal with heavy isolation as well on top of it.

I also have a long history of mental health issues. Severe ocd, severe anxiety, etc. The few things that I need to make those things better I have been deprived of here (ie. healthy social experiences and accomplishment). So it's become a vicious cycle of regression and misery. There is absolutely nothing I could do while I am still living here to better my condition, it is only destined to get worse. I don't have friends here, nor do i want to associate with the people here. They're all a bunch of cliquey, insular, douchebags. The mental health resources here are pretty much nil, so no hope for a decent psychologist. The physical environment itself is aesthetically displeasing in every way. I feel a jolt of depression every time I look out my window.

What would you do if you were in this predicament?

[lostpup]

My advice isn't good, but I hope it'll help assuage your pain a little.

Think of it this way - no human is ever truly satisfied and problem-free. Every high-flyer, socialite or smiling person has some kind of problem(s). Maybe their father is an abusive alcoholic, or their income comes from some illecit business, or they have a drug addiction etc... only that they are doing a really good job keeping their problem(s) hidden and as such we know nothing of them.
To us they seem like successful people, living their lives meaningfully. And we think, 'What am I doing with my life?' when probably everyone else is thinking the same thing.

Let's say a cousin is a scholar and is state-sponsered to study abroad because he is really excellent academic-wise. He has a terrific record, awesome leadership skills and positions, so many sports achievements, has a girlfriend and everyone admires him...

That's the person we see, the person he makes the world see. But what if the truth is deep inside he still feels empty? He thinks, 'What am I doing all this for? Even if I land a highly acclaimed job and receive a weekly pay that is what an average person would earn in a year, what will that really accomplish? I will just live, work and die another person.'
His friend is an unemployed hobo, but he manages to scrap out a living enough to drink booze every night with a small hobo clique... he seems to be enjoying himself. He seems to be enjoying his life. And the cousin gets all depressed thinking that, 'I work so hard for this, but what do all these efforts amount to? I should be just living life like there's no tomorrow. I work and work and work but one day I'll simply die and my life will amount to nothing.'

While on the other hand, his hobo friend will be looking at him and thinking, 'What am I doing with my life? I have no girlfriend, no job and achievements. All I do is drink booze with a bunch of failures. What does my life amount to?'

...

So why not try changing your perspective a little? I know it's easy to state but difficult to do... but you can try psycho-ing yourself a little at a time.

Be true to yourself. I think that's the most important thing. Live without regrets. If you think the people are pricks, then so be it. If you think the city is ugly, then so be it. The most important thing is to never regret your past. It's really just psycho-ing yourself.

'I have no friends and I'm proud of it. The people are pricks anyway.' When you make that statement, be sure to back it up with conviction!! Don't regret not having friends, regardless of what others say.
People may say 'Having friends is an achievement! You must have friends!'
But deep in their hearts, they may be thinking, 'Wow, all my friends are pricks. I wish I didn't have any friends... my life would be so much better without all the pain and obligations.'

That's why, regardless of what you do, just don't ever regret it.

I know my advice sucks and is pretty hard to follow, but I hope it'll help you.

All the best!!

People tend to have a public face and a private face....in other words, don't believe what's on the surface.

To me, 24 is still very very young.....So what would I do? I would pack a bag and leave.

But I would take with me the knowledge that I may have to do that more than once before I find a place where I am content.