[jamby]

I posted recently about needing "action" and a few of you gave some great tips and reading suggestions. I need to reread that because I'm stuck again, spinning my wheels.

I have so many things running around my head. Work and how much I have to get done and things I dropped the ball on, and will I be able to catch up? My condo is a disaster and I can't get motivated to start to clean it. I love my family but at times I don't want to be with them and put on a happy face. I feel like I'm lying to them. Then last night I had a major blow to my ego. This guy I had been dating on and off, who I know is not good for me but for some reason he's stuck in my head......posted some photos on Facebook making me think he s dating another girl that I suspected he has been seeing for a while. It just sucks, rejection is not what I need right now.

I keep thinking back to how I was when I was younger (I'm 38 now). I had hope,I made plans, I was excited about things. I thought my life was going to be great. Now it's an effort to get through each day. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning.

I'm so scared is is never going to get better. That this is the way the rest of my life will be. I have to fix this. I have to make it better. I've tried a lot of varying meds and some have worked for short periods and others not at all. My next Rx appointment is in the 25 and it can't come soon enough.

I just need to do something other than sit on the sofa and cry. How am I going to get better?? I want a normal life.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Jamby. Unfortunately depression frequently entails severe impairment of one's ability to summon motivation, plan and feel excitement. But you already understand that too well...

Have you discussed your need for some kind of real, touchable plan with your therapist? Does your therapist or prescribing doctor have a formal "treatment plan" for you?

[smmath]

I would suggest to try and not think back to what you had hoped to do because it is not going to help you right now. The things in the past have no bearing on things right now. if you can, maybe try to take on some idealist points of view. Hopefully it might help to lift your spirits. As for the lack of motivation, maybe try blasting some upbeat music to get you in the mood.

[Fuzzybear]

[Frankbtl]

Hi, just as Rohag said depression can take so much away from you including motivation. So maybe focus a bit less on what you can't do for now and instead focus on what you can do It can be so overwhelming to think of everything you "should" be doing. For example with the condo if you can just clean (partially clean?) one room in the next five/six (?) days then that in itself is going to be a big achievement, and with work maybe "break down" tasks a bit more? Small steps......
Do you think maybe you could tell your family a little of what's going on for you though, perhaps they could support you a bit more?
As for the guy, maybe that girl was a friend/acquaintance (doesn't necessarily mean he's seeing her), depression can sometimes throw your perspective??
But if you are right, then just like you said- he's not good enough for you!- it may hurt now but much better longer term that he's gone from your life. His loss!! And more time for you to focus on you, right?!! Now that's what you need!!
Now right now, focusing on getting through this is as big a plan as any, so you do have a plan. And as you're coming through this you can be having even better, more realistic, more fulfilling, more meaningful plans than you did when you were younger. What really matters in life can change with age so with your maturity now, there can still be a whole new world out there.
But first, this.........It's good that you've tried different meds but sometimes it can take a while to find the right ones or right combinations for you. Just make sure you're keeping your doctor completely up-dated. And maybe they could refer you for therapy or counseling (or consult with your therapist/counselor if you have one???).
But for now, anything whatsoever you can do to make things a bit easier on yourself or feel just a little better!!???
Alison