[awesomeness05]

I'm dealing with depression and often I feel like people think my problems don't matter, compared to theirs, or like mine don't matter regardless of whether they think so or not.
I feel like I'm not validated, even though people do validate me and that is no one's intention to make me feel that way. my friends have been through self-harm, anorexia, divorce, really big problems. Me? I've been through anxiety, depression, grief, and chronic pain.
I constantly feel like i have to apologize or make light of how I feel, for fear someone will get after me and say my problems aren't that big. I realize other people have bigger problems, but my problems matter too
I don't mean to be selfish; I feel kind of ashamed of these feelings, but sometimes I just need to be reminded that someone cares. and that's when I realized these feelings are probably stemming from my depression.
has anyone else felt this way?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by awesomeness05

has anyone else felt this way?

Certainly. Fact is, when your "container of woe" overflows, it scalds your hands, and that is true no matter if your container is a massive beer stein or a miniature tea cup.

Your agony is real whether or not others can appreciate its reality.

You may have people in your circles with whom you can share your experience in healing fashion, but those people are few. I hope you have at least one.

[pudica]

It matters. Problems are different, big or small, a problem is a problem. It's not a competition where only the one with the biggest problem can ask for help, everyone with problems can ask for help. Anxiety, depression, grief and chronic pain are not little problems really. If you feel it's little, it's good that you ask for help soon and not let it get worse. Don't feel bad about it. You're not selfish for caring about yourself when you don't feel good.

[Altered Moment]

Your problems do matter. Depression and anxiety are very serious diseases. I don't know how people live with chronic pain. Grief can take along time to process. You have every right to care for yourseld and get the help you need.
It is hard to find people who understand what it is like for us.

[paynful]

Originally Posted by awesomeness05

I'm dealing with depression and often I feel like people think my problems don't matter, compared to theirs, or like mine don't matter regardless of whether they think so or not.
I feel like I'm not validated, even though people do validate me and that is no one's intention to make me feel that way. my friends have been through self-harm, anorexia, divorce, really big problems. Me? I've been through anxiety, depression, grief, and chronic pain.
I constantly feel like i have to apologize or make light of how I feel, for fear someone will get after me and say my problems aren't that big. I realize other people have bigger problems, but my problems matter too
I don't mean to be selfish; I feel kind of ashamed of these feelings, but sometimes I just need to be reminded that someone cares. and that's when I realized these feelings are probably stemming from my depression.
has anyone else felt this way?

Thank you for posting this. Your problems are real. Just because they are YOUR'S doesn't make them insignificant. You really can't compare your life to anyone else's.

If some one was in pain and in front of you "ranting" about it, would you EVER tell them to stuff it?
Would or could you tell them that their pain means nothing?
I don't think you could.
Why would it be ok for some one to treat you that way or say that to you?
Anyone who would treat you that way does NOT deserve your time, effort or attention.

Just reading this has made me face some hard facts about myself and the unhealthy manner in which I deal.... or rather how I DON'T deal with my own issues.

I often try to minimize my issues or make light of them when I feel like they are eating away at my very soul... that I'm rotting from the inside out. I always view other people's problems as more relavent than my own. It's easier that way... or so I convince myself.

I guess I've made it into a habit. Trying to tell myself to, "buck up, some one else always has it harder in life than me." While that may be true, it doesn't change the fact that it's actually me trying to avoid my own pain. I can't hide from it. I can't run away from myself. And I can't force people to fix my problems for me.

While it is difficult not to get angry with myself, maybe it is time I get aggressive... or assertive. Either way, feeling small and insignificant is not going to diminish what I have to face. It only feeds into my guilt.

Maybe we both just need to say to ourselves...

I may not have chosen to exist, or to live the life I am leading now... I AM HERE, I have the RIGHT to be here, to take up space, to take in as much air as I need, and to be comfortable in my own skin!! I don't need permission or acceptance from ANYONE. Whatever God made me put me here for a purpose, and therefore, I do not need to make excuses or make justification for anyone.. even myself! It's my life, my pain, and my REALITY. Everyone else can either get on board with it or they can just suck my dust as I leave them behind!

...Okay, I have gone off on a ranting tangent... I'll stop now. I'm sorry for not focusing on you. I guess I thought I needed the same pep-talk. Hope it helped you as much as it helped me.

[Alone & confused]

Your problems matter HERE! Don't forget that, ok? It's not selfish to need time to heal yourself. When no one seems to want to help you, You Have To think about yourself! You are just as important as anyone else. Depression is NO JOKE! And it's very real to those of us who suffer from it. I know how you feel. Right now, I have either the flu or some other upper respiratory virus, I'm sick as hell, but I STILL get to babysit my grand babies, take care of two of my other kids, try to cook, clean & whatever, because everyone else has other things to do besides "give Me a break" & help out so I can rest! So now I'm fighting illness and depression....on my own, & it SUCKS! Don't let anyone make you feel guilty! Your problems are just as important!