I used to be patient. And now...not so much.

I was just wondering if it's just me.

I never had much to begin with. So it's hard to tell if I have less now. But I do sure tire easily lately of the whiners & dopes that seem to surround me lately... OMG!

[regretful]

I have no patience whatsoever. It's certainly related to the depression...goes like this...depression - insomnia - impatience...and around and around it goes...

[paynful]

There was a day last week that I couldn't stop dwelling on things.. well, things that I had no control over. I was mad all day. Mad at the world, mad at my friend, but mostly, mad at myself for being so helpless. I spent HOURS calming myself down. I thought I did. So I thought I would do something nice for my mother, and make her dinner. All she did was walk into the kitchen and start helping me.

I lost it. Any patience I thought I had, I lost it. In a split second.

At the time, it was like she was implying I couldn't do it on my own, and she was ENCROACHING. She was too close. I wanted to shove her away from me. I literally dropped to the floor into a ball so I wouldn't lash out. Just started crying and shaking. It took everything I had to explain it to her in slow detail. It was TORTURE.

Now, I don't trust myself. When I'm this depressed, I don't trust my patience... or lack thereof.

[Clara22]

Long time ago, I was in a kind of retreat. In there there was this mom. She was talking to a religious older woman that was a kind of leader. She told this older woman: "Oh, I would like to have your patience, this is a gift I do not have. I wish I have it for my children". And the older woman said "Gift? Patience is not a gift. I was not born equipped with it. It is a practice. It is like the muscles of bodybuilders."
I was very young at that time and I thought that was a message for me, too. I was having a hard time as I had just acquired my disability. I started practicing it, and my patience improved considerably. Then, I started to work in education and for a long time I was able to exercise my patience. It was a virtue other people would notice I had.
But now it is different, I am having a hard time to exercise patience. I lose my temper, even my judgement is sometimes wrong, all that against my patience. I feel this is related to my depression and anxiety. I do not like it because I know as I am depressed I am demeaning patience from others, but I am not able to be patient for them

[20broken17]

I agree. I use to have so much patience and now I don't. I lose my temper so fast. The smallest things make me irritated and annoyed. I hate it so much

[gayleggg]

I, too, have trouble with patience now. I believe it has been worse when I'm depressed. I think of it as a loss of control along with all the other things I can't control in depression, such as, my emotions.