[Altered Moment]

Here is something I learned in AA along time ago.

That my alcoholism and addiction are a disease. In my case highly genetic. Alcoholism and mental illness run rampant on both sides of my family. It is not my fault that I have this disease. I am not to blame for having this disease. But it is what it is. I have it.

However I am responsible for my actions. I am responsible to do something about it. If I am actively using and drinking and it is hurting everything and everyone around me then it is up to me to do something about it. How can I continue on hurting everyone I love and who loves me. How can I do this to my daughter which will damage her for life. I have to do something about it. I have to seek out the treatment I need. I have to do what ever it takes to get clean and sober. If that means going to AA and swallowing all my pride then so be it.

This is also true for my depression. It is not my fault but it is my job to seek out the treatment I need. My depression is much more of a bugger and I have not had as much success. But nevertheless I am responsible. It was something others had to teach me. And for this I am eternally grateful.

[Hellion]

It is important to seek treatment for things like that...I haven't struggled with alcoholism I have abused alcohol but haven't had any addiction to it. Also not sure AA is the only treatment for alcoholism...if you're uncomfortable about that maybe try looking into other programs in your area.

Also for depression it is true you have to seek out treatment you need...however sometimes the very symptoms of depression make it very hard to reach out. I have certainly experienced that, at least I recognize it now so I know when I need more help...like if I am feeling suicidal I need to tell someone or go to an ER. Though I still worry about what people might think, like thinking since i've been in the psych ward twice and it happens again I must just not be taking it seriously rather than understanding I'd only resort to that when I am afraid I'll attempt suicide but that's probably the depression trying to give me reasons why I shouldn't get help when I feel like that.

[smmath]

That is a very good, cogent point that you made, and for that I thank you. It is a relief when someone states the facts about depression and makes things crystal clear in regards to how things are.

A fabulous reminder In the end, we are all responsible for our own ascent forward and that even when we depend on other people to help move us along, we are the ones who have to make the step forward.