[Kabuto]

This isn't an easy change for me. I hit a darker point in my life than I ever expected, but for the first time, things are looking slightly up. I have to be happy, I owe it to myself. So I can enjoy my life- so I can sing, dance, and love again.

So I've made a list, and I hope it helps!

I Can Still Be Happy Even If:

I CAN STILL BE HAPPY IF 1. I never see or hear from my ex again- This would suck, as I really loved her a lot, but she is not conditional to my happiness. Because as it stands, I haven't seen or heard from her in the present, so that's just as it is. If I hear from her, it's a surprise, not a condition. And that surprise might not even mean that much, if I advance enough in life.

I CAN STILL BE HAPPY IF 2. I never get laid again/I never fall in mutual love again/I never get married- Wow, this would really suck. But I can STILL persevere, can't I? Some girl's gotta love me down the line, and hopefully she will be more adorable than anything in the whole world. So again, is relative, because I will never REALLY know if I never found it until I die. But the idea is to find these good things soon, without searching for them. Let them fall upon my lap, while I'm busy making other plans.

I CAN STILL BE HAPPY IF 3. I don't find meaningful or at least halfway decent work, if the economy never gets better- This would suck too. Nobody wants to whip themselves into doing something. Nobody wants to sacrifice free will, at least I don't. In a sense, I have free will, to make the best decision at the time period. So it's not really free will because we're programmed to choose the best thing for us, but we still choose that best thing. As long as I "think" I have free will or "feel" like I have free will, then I have free will?

I CAN STILL BE HAPPY IF 4. I have to stay in the cold weather for the rest of my life- Nobody's putting a bullet to my head. If I really want out of the cold….then I'll get out of the cold. I know that I hate it, so I should leave when I'm ready.

I CAN STILL BE HAPPY IF 5. I have recurring depression thoughts- I don't think that depression in complete fullness will go away, but I hope the state of depression does. Meaning, I would like the mental "state" to disappear- it's ok to get bummed every now and then but not be bummed indefinitely.

I CAN STILL BE HAPPY IF 6. Sleep apnea symptoms never alleviate. God is a total jerk for giving me sleep apnea, but whatever….if it has to stay, so be it.

I CAN STILL BE HAPPY IF 7. I can't express my feminine side as much as I would like. Heck, this is the case now, but, oh well….I'm sure snippets of it will come out.

I CAN STILL BE HAPPY IF 8. Right now. I can still be happy right now, despite everything that is lame.

I CAN STILL BE HAPPY IF 9. I get old and ugly. That would suck a lot, but I can still be happy. Hopefully I will have wisdom to supplement, and a wonderful brain that will improve over time. Everything is finite, so it's good to prepare for this.

I CAN STILL BE HAPPY IF 10. Nothing in my life ever works out ever again. Hopefully that extreme darkness will fade. Hell is a good deal of our own creation, so heaven must be too- we must control. I deserve to be happy!

Because I will always be me, and I know I'm a good person

Wow....
GREAT strides.....

I especially like number one And remember, having someone is an addition to happiness, not a condition of happiness.

Just remember....lots of the others listed are those that you can change at any time if you so wish it. That in itself is a whole bunch of power.

[Kabuto]

Well, some of this list is circumstantial, some of it is in my control. My happiness has to be in full control though, regardless of what happens. A lot of it is left up to fate, but my attitude comes first, I suppose that's half the battle.

And believe me, #1 still hurts- a lot! Am I guilty of ruminating endlessly about it? Yes, quite. Do I think my life would have been more amazing if she stayed it? Possibly- though things aren't always as they appear to be.

I think the hardest part of the struggle was that I thought I had to be in a settled place in life before I got over her. That I needed a great job/better girlfriend, before I can get over her. Or worse yet, that I needed to do everything in my power to win her back. But I think I have to get over her first- and the most important step to realizing that is knowing I can be happy no matter what.

But hey, progress is progress, and any amount of it is good. And I like to think this list will help.

[Maria38Divine]

I think #8 kinda sums it up for me. It's about finding happiness in the moment. You're alive right now; cherish whatever you can from the moment. Tomorrow is promised to no one, and we don't get a second chance to re-live today. Happiness can be found in some seemingly insignificant stuff: someone greeting you on your way to work; hearing an old song you haven't heard in ages; an unexpected call from an old friend; the weather; savouring a nice meal; a smile from a passerby. And you're right about having the right attitude--it is half the battle and it does affect our outlook on life and perception of things.

Good for you. Keep motivating yourself to see things differently. I have to keep reminding myself too.