[Curupira]

I hate this more than the depression. This constant dread and fear in the pit of my stomach, like my body is preparing for a punch to the gut that never seams to come. I want to crawl out of my own skin so much so that I have actually started scratching myself without realizing it. I woke up this morning to long lines of bruises on my leg from scratching in my sleep.

I have an anti-anxiety but at this point it is barely taking the edge off. I plan on talking to my pdoc aboutthis when I see him next.

It just sucks right now. I am having to watch my every movement to make sure I am not engaging in repetitive motions. My hands shake, I can barely eat... It just sucks!

And I am getting worse, at first it was a small episode here or there. I took my meds, and practiced my coping skills and it went away. Now it is constant, every single moment I am concious. I feel like I am going crazy.

Sorry for the long vent, I am not sure what I want, advice from someone who has been there, or just to not feel alone and losing my mind.

[Altered Moment]

I understand. Anxiety is new to me with my depression in the last five years. I hate it more than anything. Depression I am used to as I have had it my whole life and will take it over anxiety any day. I also get this feeling of impending doom like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop for no rational reason. Sometimes the meds won't touch it or I have to take alot of them.

One time I was crawling out of my skin and I didn't not have any benzo's. I could not sleep. I had ambien. I would take an ambien wait two hours and nothing, so I would take another one and nothing, wait two more hours and finally after the third one I could get fours hours of sleep. They tell me to take .5 mg of klonopin for severe anxiety. When I have severe anxiety it takes 2 mg to even touch it. Then if I tell my pdoc they think I am abusing them and don't want to give me more.

Call your doc and tell them you need to take more than prescribed because it just isn't working at that dose. For me anxiety can just eat through drugs like they are candy.

[Rohag]

I strongly suspect having both anxiety and depression makes it much harder to treat either.

I can relate. I have struggled with severe anxiety my whole life. And depression starting as a teenager. I just really want to die most every moment. I am sorry you have this.

[Jawbone263]

I really hate that fearful feeling too. I HATE it.

I was diagnosed with anxiety about 6 years ago - although it seems I've dealt with it as long as I can remember.

It just sucks. Being mindful has helped sometimes... The times where your mind gets going down that roller coaster of what ifs and rapid thoughts - snapping that rubber band helps bring me back a few minutes at a time. I hope your pdoc can help you out. Good luck and I hope you find some peace soon. Hugs.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Curupira]

Thank you guys so much. It is such a huge relief to know I am not alone in this.