Need some advice....

I am new to this forum. This is long so I am sorry. I just have so much to open up about. To start off I am a 17 year old girl who has basically a great life. My dad gives me money when I need him to, I'm in school for cosmetology and make really good grades, I have a good paying job and get good hours but I am still so depressed. A lot because my mother was a drug addict growing up and really was not a mother to me. I found her dead when I was 13 due to accidental over dose. That was by far the hardest thing I've been thru. Since then I have had problems with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, self harm, doing stuff to get attention, all kinds of stuff. My parents really didn't't pay much attention to me or give me the attention a child needs I should say. My dad he still doesn't I think because he doesn't know how to be there emotionally. Just not who he is. I have tried therapy, meds, even tried being in a psychiatric hospital 6 months ago but this stuff still continues the meds do not help and I still feel depressed no matter how good things are going. The only person I really trust in my family is my older brother who is currently in prison. Me and him are very close but I have done stuff in the past to get attention from him and currently just because I feel the need for attention. I just don't know how to explain it to him why I do things for attention. I know he will love me either way and I feel he will understand but I still have the fear that he won't if that makes sense. Like I will do things to get attention and say things but it's like I don't see it or I know I'm doing these things for attention but don't wanna believe that's what I am doing... I just wanna know what I am going thru is normal because I really don't get attention at home from my dad and never really did even when my mother was alive. I know I shouldn't do stuff for attention but at the same time I also know that I need it like everyone else. I just don't wanna push my brother away or anyone else.

Welcome. I hope you find the support you need here. I am sorry you have had such a rough time until now.

Are you seeing anyone for your depression?

Lots of love and hugs

I used to its like I go to therapy feel better and stop going...

Alabama Girl, please talk to a doctor that you trust about your depression, as it's possible you have a chemical imbalance that would respond to antidepressant med such as Prozac which you can get in generic form at Walmart for $4.00. (month's supply and Prozac has no really bad side effects.) It can help you deal better with the negative aspects of your life. I speak from experience.

On the plus side it does make you feel better. It may be time to go back, and when you do start to feel better again it might be good to come up with an exit strategy with your therapist so you can continue improving once you stop seeing him or her.

Meds can also be a big help for a lot of people. If you feel like this is something that is just not going to go away it may be a good idea to talk to a psychiatrist. For some people the combination of medication and therapy does wonders.

Good luck

I wanna go back but it's just hard. I wanna try new meds to help balance it all out but at the same time with my moms background seeing what she went thru and did its kinda hard for me because I don't ever wanna do that with any kind of drug thinking taking more will make me feel better and all like she did.