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#1
Apr 21, 2014, 06:01 PM
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The cloudy days are always the hardest for me, well go figure, I have SAD. But some days (most days) I feel like my own raincloud everywhere I go.
 I don't want to be around people at all or talk to anyone. I get so intensely depressed for so long that I think the only way out is... And that's why they call it Major Depressive Disorder. Heap a crapload of anxiety on there as well as some almost constant hypervigilance from the PTSD and hey what do you know, that's me in a nutshell.  I'm sorry. It's been a hard day so I figured that posting about what's bothering me (how I'm just so fed up with my life) will help make me feel at least a little better. And I just came from a very difficult therapy session.  I feel broken. Utterly broken.No one wants to be around someone who's depressed all the time and is basically a walking talking duffle bag of problems. I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about.  So you put on the facade of happiness all the time. And when you don't do a good enough job people may ask "what's wrong?" Oh I'm just tired. Or, I'm just sad today. "Why?" I have no idea. Don't ask me that. Only normal people have a reason for feeling this sad. Oh my goodness. What's the matter with me? Why can't I get my life under control?!
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Yes. Jesus is the reason I am still alive today. Diagnoses: MDD, BPD, PTSD, OCD, AN-BP (I don't define myself by my personal alphabet up there, but I put it there so that maybe somebody won't feel so alone  )
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 Anonymous100305, Anonymous200125, Curupira, Idiot17, LaborIntensive, waterknob1234
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#2
Apr 21, 2014, 06:12 PM
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i was once where you were at. i never thought i would escape the darkness. then i discovered wellbutrin. other antidepressants didnt work, but it sure did the trick. it was the magic wand i had been searching for all those years. that and therapy. two years was all i took it for and the depression still hasnt come back. it was a true miracle for me. dont ever give up. it can happen when you least expect it. take care.
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 Stronger
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#3
Apr 21, 2014, 06:42 PM
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My wife regularly asks me: "Are you alright
 " "Yes," I say. "I'm just tired."  Does she really think I'm going to say: "No. I'm depressed as hell & I'm thinking about ending it all  " Then I smile & re-double my effort to appear happy... 
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| Anonymous200125, Stronger
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#4
Apr 21, 2014, 07:17 PM
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((((((stronger)))))
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#5
Apr 21, 2014, 08:09 PM
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Always be thankful you have a roof over your head, food in your tummy. Are you deep in debt? On the verge of losing your home perhaps?
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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