To all those who have suffered for a long time

I'm fairly new to the game of depression. Having only been officially diagnosed around February 2013 with a major depressive episode (even though I'm pretty sure I had a major episode in junior high but didn't really realize it). I cannot imagine having to live with this ugly beast inside of me for all that much longer. The idea of living a life with something that makes it completely unenjoyable seems beyond anything I want to endure.

For everyone who has had to deal with depression please know that it is a testament to your strength, courage, and hope to have battled for so long. Even if you don't feel strong, I'm really impressed and admire every single one of you To have to deal with a demon for so long that knows all of your secrets, all of your fears, and to still be fighting to this day--it's truly an amazing thing. I hope to have your conviction.

Keeprolling, I do it one day at a time. Hopefully, out of each day there will be some ray of hope or joy, if not I just start over tomorrow. Thanks for your kind words.

Thanks Keeprolling,

Your words are so timely and appreciated. Had a really rough night. I'm at my lowest right now--tired of fighting. It's been 30yrs. I'm still hoping though and thanks again for the encouragement.

Thank you. I would have to agree and give myself some credit for the courage and tenacity it takes to fight all these years.

In your case I have read that the more depressive episodes you have the more likely you are to have them in the future. They take on a life of their own. I think this is true more for people who are prone to situational depressions. If you can prevent yourself from sliding into a full blown depression the better your odds are for the future.

I have often been scolded by pdocs for not getting in to see them when I first noticed myself slipping instead of waiting until I was in it full bore. I don't know how I could have done this as it takes a month to get in to see them but nevertheless it is easier to prevent before it gets real bad than it is to pull you out when you are in deep.

In my case I don't think much of this applies because I believe it is deeply ingrained in me genetically and biologically and I am very treatment resistant. It is however true that as I have gotten older they have become worse and longer lasting.

So in your case I would advise doing whatever is humanly possible to prevent yourself from diving into a very deep one and your chances will be much better. Get in to increase your meds early. Or do whatever coping strategies you have learned to prevent a full blown episode. Don't let it become an ingrained part of your life. If it is possible. For you it may be.

I have felt this way recently. Just know you are not alone. There are many out there with this who want to help

Thank you. I was diagnosed in 2012... But with the knowledge I have now, I'm pretty sure that I was at risk since my senior year in high school. I have had several episodes since then, but the daily demands of high school and college pulled me through. No one at the time thought that something was wrong, not even myself. When i graduated from college things fell apart. I guess since I didn't have an immediate goal to reach towards and no structure to keep me in one piece. So I would call it 11 years for me on and off. I don't know how I've made it this far or if I'll last any longer, and I can't imagine what 30 years feels like. Thank you again, I hope any of us can help you pull through even in a small way.

I've been suffering since I was a young child. I'm exhausted. I'm not sure if it has been courage that has seen me thru, just got used to it I guess, but my spirit is very, very tired now and I wish my soul could just be released now.

I've been dealing with depression since I was a child, uhh and it sucks....most of the time I certainly do not feel strong I just wish it would go away. Many times I do just feel like giving it up but I suppose I have made it this far for whatever that is worth. Of course I end up not eating enough, sometimes I drink too much but of course that has somewhat to do with the depression.

Diagnosed 26 years ago.

I.have been dealing with depression for about 17 years and it's been so hard to treat. Then I got diagnoses of bipolar depression and my insurance just decided to raise the price of one of my very important meds. 176 a month. Now I'm so low it's not even funny. I see my pdoc today do hopefully he'll have another option for me. I pray so much. This is deep rooted and genetic. I tried to go to the hospital last night but they had no beds available. So I'm suffering at home. There was another place I could have gone but I decided it would be best to see my own pdoc. Please pray for me. Thank you.

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