[mulan]

This is going on my head so I will share it with whoever wants to read about it.

This night I was in an ER for patients with heart attacks... I was there like a student.
But it was there a women, not an old one waiting to die. It was very heart broken... among the all precedures they could do to save her, she couldn't do anyone. She couldn't do a bypass surgery, she couldn't do a catheterism to open the arteries, and her case was pretty serious, they could even give to her some medication to take out the pain because she had a low blood pressure. She was in pain, throwing up, just waiting to die. I saw her face... it is really sad. I once had see a man die in front of me...but this women was still alive and there was nothing they could do to help her.
This was really a day full of little moments and bad feelings. So much happened, so many things that showed me how insecure, ignored I am. How I do really dumb things. And how I continue to get touched by a thing that gives me a really good feeling and at the same time the sure that I can't get what I want...it's different from all I have experience.
I was told that I was a very smart girl that could do really dumb things. I don't feel good being called very smart, but I don't feel good either being called silly. the same person also told me that my only disease is hypochondriase...well, not the only but.
I know that this post can't have an answear, I just wanted to talk. I hope that my story will not. be a trigger.

[littlemiss44]

How sad that you had to experience that hun. It makes me appreciate the fact that I am healthy so Thx for sharing. Reading it made me feel like my depression isn't that significant. Even tho it is very real to me. Did she have anyone there like family caring for her? You aren't dumb and yr feelings mean something. Don't discount yr self.

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[LaborIntensive]

Medical professionals see so many real life horrors and drams. Life and Death and so much more from illness and disease. As long as you do not lose your humanity and compassion you are doing far batter than so many other humans.