Going thru a bad stretch

Sitting in work just feeling numb. Breaking into tears is always a real threat to me. I'm very sensitive and obsess on people who may not be happy with me.

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Depression makes me feel like I'm walking around with all of my nerves on the outside of my body rather than the inside. I can certainly identify with the pain that you're experiencing. I am hopeful that depression goes as mysteriously as it came for all of us on these forums.

I sit here feeling on the edge of a meltdown and the funny thing is nobody around me knows it. I keep everything inside always smiling with the fear somebody will dislike me and then everyone will gang up on me.

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I literally just wrote my last post when somebody came over I smiled we laughed and joked all the time above this pain and sadness within me.

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I have this recurring thought from that old children's poem "Casey at the Bat"..."there is not joy in Mudville today..."

On the surface, I'm smiling...underneath that thinnest of veneers, I'm suffering and the only folks that know it are making comments on this site...

I wish people would stop talking to me. I need time to be alone on my head but the day is filled with meetings conference calls and interruptions.

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That's funny about the only people who know it. I feel the same way. People would probably be very surprised if they realized what I was sitting here writing.

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Hi hidesad and regretful, I identify with you both so much! It's the same situation for me at work. I smile, work, crack up jokes, and while everyone on the outside thinks that I'm happy, I feel either profoundly sad or numb. You guys are the only ones with whom I don't need to wear mask of happiness. I so appreciate this forum, it's kind of a safe place, a RELEASE

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From the first post that I made on this site, I've found this to be a nice, and helpful, escape. Misery loves miserable company...but as the healing progresses, and the depression lifts (hopefully soon), I do hope to return to posting helpful and uplifting things here. Best to you hidesad and Avatar.

It is nice to sit here and type how I am really feeling while the whole time this crazy corporate environment swirls around me.

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