So I know for me, setraline tends to dull my emotions to the point where even if I'm feeling amazingly sad I can't cry. Which is terrible and makes my heart hurt in ways that we don't have enough words for.

I finally weened myself off of it and now a few weeks later I'm finally getting my full range of emotions back and to be honest I'm amazed. Because, for me school is the major source of my emotional struggle (along with plenty of other things), a parental unit of mine has been harassing me day in and day out about grades, getting work done, talking to my advisers, emailing for help, contacting tutors, getting tuition resolved, everything and it becomes overwhelming enough already just in my head and I don't need another voice saying it even louder and I just got SO ANGRY. I'm still angry.

Like, I know my best isn't a lot right now but I'm sure as hell trying my best and now that I can finally monitor myself a little bit I need to practice it otherwise I'll never get back up on my feet and it's just stupid because depression is something you constantly have to readjust ever day every hour how much you should push yourself or give yourself some slack. And so I really just let loose and yelled him a new one. Swore for the first time ever against my parental unit (which is something I would never dare to do EVER) and just tried to really just hammer the point home but he still didn't get it in the end and now I just don't want to talk to anyone from home at all. I am supposed to go home this weekend for Easter but I cancelled because my insides feel really gross just at the thought of seeing them. They want to help yeah but the support I need is pretty much the exact opposite I'm getting and apparently no matter how many times I emphasize what they're doing wrong they just don't get it at all.

So now instead of feeling like a hollow shell I'm an overemotional mess and I don't know if this is any better because I STILL can't do my work. Ridiculous.

It feels like my emotions are like some sort of ranging storm because I had a good 2 weeks and now I'm back in angst land this is just sooooo stupid. I have no words for how frustrating people are to me sometimes. And I know they mean well but that really doesn't help the affect they have on me now does it.

[littlemiss44]

I think it's great that you stood up and declined going to easter with yr family. You already have enough to deal with. I know how you feel about being numb. I'm on a new med latuda which is doing the exact thing to me. I'm hoping it will pass with time. Why did you go off of the setraline? Is it because it made you feel numb? I can understand that. Is yr pdoc going to be replacing it with something else?

Family can be so hard to deal with! Especially when they don't understand what you truly are going thru emotionally. I think it's so good that you are doing yr best to feel better. Parents have a big impact on us. I encourage you to keep setting boundaries with them. I wish for yr sake that they cared more. Sounds like all they care about is yr school issues. I'm so sorry yr struggling so bad. Yr not alone. We're here for you. Take care of you.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk

I mainly only went on medication because my thoughts were getting to the point where I couldn't control them anymore. Recently it's been getting a lot better and I realized I was running low so being the idiot that I was I figured it might be a good time to try weening off of it. Which actually worked out pretty well because things have really been on the upswing for quite a while and I feel like am finally at a bit more solid of ground to start attempting getting better without the medication. Though I'm stupid and need to talk to my Pdoc and T about it hahaha (don't worry I'm going to talk about it at my next session, please no one follow my example lol).

Thank you though! It's so terribly hard to stand up to family especially since they do so much for you :/ They really do care but they also want to push me into finishing school. A lot of it I think rests on the fact that I want to finish school because I don't really see all that great opportunity unless I do but I hate every second of it and they figure they might as well try to drag me through since I can't seem to do it myself. But you're totally right about them not fully understanding how to deal with me emotionally and provide good support. And I know if I just don't answer my phone or email they'll probably drive all the way here to make sure I'm okay and I definitely don't want that but my mood also goes completely sour and rotten after talking to them on the phone so it's just a lose lose situation all over!!

I don't know what latuda is like but I will say with setraline I've only been able to break that wall once and cry a lot during a really really powerful movie called Colorful (which I recommend). Other than that even my best attempts and trying to cry have failed I hope your's passes!

Thank you for responding I hope tomorrow shares it's sunshine with you!

[monkeybruv]

Originally Posted by keeprolling

I mainly only went on medication because my thoughts were getting to the point where I couldn't control them anymore. Recently it's been getting a lot better and I realized I was running low so being the idiot that I was I figured it might be a good time to try weening off of it. Which actually worked out pretty well because things have really been on the upswing for quite a while and I feel like am finally at a bit more solid of ground to start attempting getting better without the medication. Though I'm stupid and need to talk to my Pdoc and T about it hahaha (don't worry I'm going to talk about it at my next session, please no one follow my example lol).

Thank you though! It's so terribly hard to stand up to family especially since they do so much for you :/ They really do care but they also want to push me into finishing school. A lot of it I think rests on the fact that I want to finish school because I don't really see all that great opportunity unless I do but I hate every second of it and they figure they might as well try to drag me through since I can't seem to do it myself. But you're totally right about them not fully understanding how to deal with me emotionally and provide good support. And I know if I just don't answer my phone or email they'll probably drive all the way here to make sure I'm okay and I definitely don't want that but my mood also goes completely sour and rotten after talking to them on the phone so it's just a lose lose situation all over!!

I don't know what latuda is like but I will say with setraline I've only been able to break that wall once and cry a lot during a really really powerful movie called Colorful (which I recommend). Other than that even my best attempts and trying to cry have failed I hope your's passes!

Thank you for responding I hope tomorrow shares it's sunshine with you!

What dose are you on of sertraline? Maybe you need to find the happy medium where your emotions are less distressing but you're not a complete zombie?