[StargazerLily]

email from myself to my friend, i couldnt possibly type all these thoughts again..i dont know whats wrong, i just dont wanna be alone..please

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just one more thing i thought i should add since i happen to be experiencing it right this minute and if i go to bed tonight, not looking like it though, but if i do and when i wake up in the day time i'll just blow this all off. but otherwise this is the worst feeling ever. i know im afraid of the dark. like seriously, seriously. like even a flash light, the tiniest light, whatever helps. just dark..no, cant do it. im 18 and i have a night light but that doesnt always help. but i dont know. i dont know if its every night or what, i dont remember. i think someone is coming after me. its the most irrational thought possible, i know. its not true. there is no person thats gonna come after me, but this happens to me and theres no convincing myself this, even now. i know it wont happen but i think it will. i think someones gonna stab me. and even more than that, one of the things i hate most about walking around my house at night, like when im going down the hall, when i have to p *** the stairs, even just in my periphrial vision i see the bottom of the stairs. and i always think theres a man standing there, dressed in all black. i swear i swear. it seems so real. every little creak, every little band in the house, and i think its that person and im so scared.

ugh..idk. i know i sound so crazy, i know. ugh...nvm

i had to say it
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and that was it, i dunno what else to say, i need to go try and sleep. im so scared.

HI stargazer....I use to be terrified off the dark also....I'm 45 now and can still have the odd reaction to it....I remember arriving at therapy once telling T that someone was after me....we worked on it together and came to the conclusion that it was my own fears I had shut off and felt "as if" someone was after me but infact its all the parts of myself I was afraid to look at ....not sure if this maybe going on for you also?....I know it feels so dam real at the time though...maybe you could continue to write these fears down? give them an objective feel? anyways I hope this passes for you soon.

[woods]

you know what i thought i was the only one. because im petrified of the dark too. i dont think its because someone's coming after me but its because i think thats when the devil (if you believe) plays with your mind. anyways i have an easy mind to play with because you can scare me through almost anything. but its werid if i have someone, someone by me then im alright its like nothing can touch me ill be scared but not to the point of not sleeping.
i dont have a nightlight on but i have a light on. i cant tell my parents so they always turn it off. its terrible. anyways i just wanted to let ya know your not alone

[biplol]

{{{{StargazerLily}}}} OMG, I go thru these same things every night but I never told anyone.
I feel for you hon~

[gwen26]

hi,
i completly understand and feel you. i, too am scared of the dark. at 26 years of age i have 2 nightlites in my bedroom and one in my bathroom. some nights i sleep in the living room with the tv and light on. i have things such as dressers and couch up against my windows.( the fears of one breaking in can be rough on me. )however, ever since i started taking risperdal, an antipystoic medicene, i am able to usually sleep thru the whole night not waking up in fearful panic attacks. yes these fears still bother me some but not as bad as it use to. (i use to wait until 7 or 8 in the morning before i would go to sleep; knowing i had to be the work that afternoon.) please consult a doctor and counselor with your sitaution. it will help so much.
gwen

[Perna]

Can you "get to know"/be friends with parts of the house that are especially scary during the daytime and have "them" help you when it's dark? I would name doors or windows, make them "pets" and either go out to dinner occasionally with someone or have them in until 9-10:00, get some "life" into the place. During the day, stand where you see the man standing and then look there at night. "Memorize" the stairs and make them "yours" so no one "else" can claim them.

I found that when I didn't go out or have any "real" interactions during a day, that night I had worse trouble than usual. Now I try to go out shopping or to the library, talk to clerks or neighbors, someone -- have a small "goal"/thing to do each day out.

[Christina86]

(((((((((Lily)))))))))))))



The night is scary...

[Boopers]

I understand.

((((((((((((((((Lily)))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry.
Linda

[StargazerLily]

Its good to know I'm not alone.

I never used to be scared of the dark, not even when I was younger, it's just been the past few years that its been affecting me. I dunno what could have triggered it. This just recently has just been way too much for me. I don't even know why I posted this. I was just so scared that I had to say something and I wanted somebody here to not make it so bad. I cant even re-read what I wrote. I think I'd want it deleted if I did that. Just to see that I was even thinking like that.

But thank you all for the quick replies and all the support and suggestions. Thank you.

[PaulS]

You say it sounds crzy. Does it sound crazy to you? We don't know anything except what you tell us. It wouldreally be bad if there reaqlly were someone there and you couldn't face the reality.

I think you are telling us that you are very upset and you have a pattern of fear and anxiety over thedark that is growing tothe point you worry you could be out of control. Am Iright?

Ther is so much to cover to do more than help you be calm. You know how to distract yourself, how to breathe slowly, how to keep in touch with friends?

Butthe main thing isthat something is really and actually bothering you.

This is the kind of thing that a conversation wth someone with even a little bit of experience and compassion can help.

My guesiss that if someone proved there was no man there it would not help the basic feeling, and you might find another focal point for yor feelings. At least, that is what Iwould do.

You don't need to suffer. What you have is a plenty good reason to look for help beyond what we can do for you in this format.

[mel4]

i know how you feel, stargazer, i HATE the dark as well. Darkness is often the epitomy of all our fears. Darkness represents so much, its is a void in which nothing can be seen, therefore, we are out of control of what happens within it. The dark is a great unknown. It is not a suprise that so many people are fearful of it. i wish you well in overcoming the darkness, both literally and metaphorically.

mel

[StargazerLily]

Thank you all. I'm not sure what it is, maybe I just needed to get these thoughts out from my head, but I've been alright since I posted this. I still don't like the dark, but it isn't an overwhelming fear, right now.

Thank you so much.

[moodyblu]

Hmm...well I know that I have been afraid of the dark for as long as I could consciously remember...and I'm 53. I remember "freaking out" many times when I was a little kid.
I've always had some sort of hall light or something on...gotta be able to see when I look that nothing is there.
Lord help those who startle me in my sleep; I tend to jump up and lash out in fright...right at the source.
I don't know...could be fears...or primal plus my "heightened sensitivity". Sometimes I wonder if it could be more than that...but what?
Anyways...for years when I am afraid I pray a prayer or sing a song of protection invoking my "lord and savior". Usually helps. Funny after all these years how it hasn't changed though. I don't like the dark!
m.b.