[ToeJam]

Felt bloody awkward.

Building up to today I was feeling frustrated, resentful of optimistic opinions that were overriding my concerns (saw him 3 weeks back), and convinced that it would be just a futile circle jerk of him not doing anything while I feel that things are getting worse; like what happened in my last appointment.

Did what I could to empty my mind before I went in... didn't want anxiety to build up leading to verbal diarrhoea... and tried to lay it out for him as clearly as possible.

Trying currently to consolidate what was said as situations like that make me very uncomfortable and it passes in a blur.

Essentially, he was concerned that things were starting to get worse again... he didn't think I should be concerned about the brain numbness/deadness at the moment; I relayed what my T had said... but did so in a factual diplomatic way so as not to give the impression that I was putting my hopes and dreams in her opinion (I don't, but I'm all to aware of 'impressions' and I didn't want to cloud the overall situation) and was opening it up for him to weigh up. He scoffed a little bit and didn't put much weight into it, saying that there are nerves attached from the base of the skull to the back and for now I shouldn't worry about it.

Fair enough... put a line through that for now in my mind... but will pay note to it continuing and mention it again if it keeps happening or gets worse.

Told him about the fluctuations between numbness and anxiety to massive waves of sadness and I think this was more of an area he could understand and deal with.

He spoke about my medication and was curious (talking openly I guess to gauge my reaction) as to reduce or increase the dosage of my medication. Can't exactly pin point what I said at this point as I was getting tired fast (for an appointment that only lasted about 10min :blink: ) but he decided that we would try increasing the dosage from 30mg (on Mirtazapine) to 45mg. Warned me that it would take 4-6 weeks to see any marked changes but it would be a test phase to identify if that will make any odds to what's going on.

Wants me to see him again in 2 weeks.

[TheOriginalMe]

GPs are very quick to dismiss any physical signs or symptoms, if I present something as linked to my depression he will say it might be the meds, if I link something to the meds he will say maybe its the depression. If I have something that doesn't seem to be related to either he treats it as somatic lol. Yet at every appointment he asks "Is there anything else I can do for you today". If something is bothering me that is not depression I try and see a different doc, luckily I'm in a big practice and there's plenty of choice.

I'm seeing my GP this afternoon, for a "holding visit" in other words I've no other psych support and he thinks I need a weekly check in - fair enough.

Tomorrow, I have a telephone assessment for IAPT, I'm not looking forward to that, I don't have a good track record with therapy.

Sorry I've rambled on about me. Hope you are able to relax a little now your appointment is out of the way. Hope the increase in Mirtazapine helps (how do you get on with that med by the way? I've not tried it and my GP keeps talking about combining it with my Cymbalta, don't fancy it myself but meds always sound bad).

[ToeJam]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

GPs are very quick to dismiss any physical signs or symptoms, if I present something as linked to my depression he will say it might be the meds, if I link something to the meds he will say maybe its the depression. If I have something that doesn't seem to be related to either he treats it as somatic lol. Yet at every appointment he asks "Is there anything else I can do for you today". If something is bothering me that is not depression I try and see a different doc, luckily I'm in a big practice and there's plenty of choice.

I'm seeing my GP this afternoon, for a "holding visit" in other words I've no other psych support and he thinks I need a weekly check in - fair enough.

Tomorrow, I have a telephone assessment for IAPT, I'm not looking forward to that, I don't have a good track record with therapy.

Sorry I've rambled on about me. Hope you are able to relax a little now your appointment is out of the way. Hope the increase in Mirtazapine helps (how do you get on with that med by the way? I've not tried it and my GP keeps talking about combining it with my Cymbalta, don't fancy it myself but meds always sound bad).

Thanks chap and no worries regards to talking about your experiences. I can certainly relate to some of it.

Good luck with the IAPT assessment. I know they focus mostly on CBT, so if you haven't experienced that before... could be useful.

As for the med I'm on... it's hard to say. I was moved onto it after citalopram was doing nothing for me irrespective of being put on the higher dose. I've been taking mirtazapine for about 4 months now... and there was some improvement... but... and this is the big BUT... I don't know if that was down to the cycles I go through with depression... or the meds themselves.

Will see what happens in the coming weeks I guess.

Originally Posted by ToeJam

Thanks chap and no worries regards to talking about your experiences. I can certainly relate to some of it.

Good luck with the IAPT assessment. I know they focus mostly on CBT, so if you haven't experienced that before... could be useful.

As for the med I'm on... it's hard to say. I was moved onto it after citalopram was doing nothing for me irrespective of being put on the higher dose. I've been taking mirtazapine for about 4 months now... and there was some improvement... but... and this is the big BUT... I don't know if that was down to the cycles I go through with depression... or the meds themselves.

Will see what happens in the coming weeks I guess.

I'm having the same thing with meds I take now. I've been on depakote for about 3 months I think. And a couple of months of that time I was doing good. The last month not so good. They're talking of raising the dose so we'll see. But I ask myself the same thing, was it my normal cycle or the meds. Sometimes I don't think I will never know that answer!

[Frankbtl]

Hi ToeJam, really good news that he took what you said seriously and great the way you handled the appointment!!!
As for him being dubious about what your T had said, then you know that some less than credible T's (not saying yours is!!) can cast suspicion in some people's minds when that word is mentioned. But the great thing is he seemed to respect what you said about your feelings!! AND wanted to include you in establishing your "treatment" plan!!
Might be a bit of a "waiting period" now, but at least you know that he is trying to do the right thing by you.
Alison

[Little Lulu]

((((ToeJam))))

[Clara22]

Hi TJ
I cannot contribute here, but I appreciate you shared this experience

[Rohag]

Paraphrase: 'Optimistic opinions that override patient concerns' -- Doctors often excel at that...

Thank you, ToeJam. Here's hoping the increased dosage works well without side effects.

[greentires4me]

when I first saw mental health I was heavily ridding what my GP would say but she was gentle and said she was not familiar with this sort of science. But did her best to read up on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety and vitamins that could be helpful she did lots of research and came up with an anti-depressant prozac and I said I used to take Valium but she put me on ativan 4x a day at 2mg.

Thats all before I am on 6 drugs all in the attempts to make me feel better

[ToeJam]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

I'm having the same thing with meds I take now. I've been on depakote for about 3 months I think. And a couple of months of that time I was doing good. The last month not so good. They're talking of raising the dose so we'll see. But I ask myself the same thing, was it my normal cycle or the meds. Sometimes I don't think I will never know that answer!

It is hard to evaluate. Part of me puts trust in the meds I'm on (I really want to get out of this up down rollercoaster)... another part of me (the one that has studied psychology to degree level) is aware of 'placebo effect/self fulfilling prophecy/mind over matter' and other factors. It's the latter part that is also very acute to professionals being condescending or dumbing things down... but that's a whole different conversation lol.

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi ToeJam, really good news that he took what you said seriously and great the way you handled the appointment!!!
As for him being dubious about what your T had said, then you know that some less than credible T's (not saying yours is!!) can cast suspicion in some people's minds when that word is mentioned. But the great thing is he seemed to respect what you said about your feelings!! AND wanted to include you in establishing your "treatment" plan!!
Might be a bit of a "waiting period" now, but at least you know that he is trying to do the right thing by you.
Alison

Yeah, thanks Alison. Felt like a bit of an idiot at the time... but in retrospect I think I handled it fairly well.

Will see how things go.

Originally Posted by Clara22

Hi TJ
I cannot contribute here, but I appreciate you shared this experience

That's not a problem at all Clara... thank you for posting though, appreciated and it's always nice to see a friendly face (metaphorically speaking)

Originally Posted by Rohag

Paraphrase: 'Optimistic opinions that override patient concerns' -- Doctors often excel at that...

Thank you, ToeJam. Here's hoping the increased dosage works well without side effects.

Thanks Rohag. I personally hate having to go into these appointments like it's some kind of battle... but sadly, that's just the way it goes I guess.

Not entirely sure what side effects to expect. Though saying that, and on recollection to the point I wasn't sure about in the opening post, he did ask if I preferred 'numb' to anxiety (an odd question and I possibly answered it in a different context... and definitely 'on the spot') which I said 'yes'... now I said yes because anxiety is bloody horrible... but 'numb' is a bit of a dodgy area to be in for me as well.

Regardless... I think it was on the context of my answer that he increased the dose.

Originally Posted by greentires4me

when I first saw mental health I was heavily ridding what my GP would say but she was gentle and said she was not familiar with this sort of science. But did her best to read up on anti-depressants, anti-anxiety and vitamins that could be helpful she did lots of research and came up with an anti-depressant prozac and I said I used to take Valium but she put me on ativan 4x a day at 2mg.

Thats all before I am on 6 drugs all in the attempts to make me feel better

6 drugs at the same time? I know by seeing other peoples signatures here... that isn't very unusual... but I would dread to be in that situation and I think I'd be weighing up which to not take on the basis of not having my mental faculties reduced.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( TJ ))))))))

[Little Lulu]

TJ -

Just checking in to see how you are doing today???

[ToeJam]

Originally Posted by Little Lulu

TJ -

Just checking in to see how you are doing today???

Ummm, I think I'm ok. On holiday for a couple of days over the easter period (Wife is a teacher so I try to get time that coincides with her 'massive' holidays).

Not sure if it was exhaustion or the tablets but I slept a good 12 hours before waking up today.. since then been pottering about and playing a couple of games on my computer

I hope you are well and thanks for asking.

[Little Lulu]

Glad you are doing OK - hold that thought! Enjoy your time off.

[Pierro]

Originally Posted by ToeJam

Felt bloody awkward.

Building up to today I was feeling frustrated, resentful of optimistic opinions that were overriding my concerns (saw him 3 weeks back), and convinced that it would be just a futile circle jerk of him not doing anything while I feel that things are getting worse; like what happened in my last appointment.

Did what I could to empty my mind before I went in... didn't want anxiety to build up leading to verbal diarrhoea... and tried to lay it out for him as clearly as possible.

Trying currently to consolidate what was said as situations like that make me very uncomfortable and it passes in a blur.

Essentially, he was concerned that things were starting to get worse again... he didn't think I should be concerned about the brain numbness/deadness at the moment; I relayed what my T had said... but did so in a factual diplomatic way so as not to give the impression that I was putting my hopes and dreams in her opinion (I don't, but I'm all to aware of 'impressions' and I didn't want to cloud the overall situation) and was opening it up for him to weigh up. He scoffed a little bit and didn't put much weight into it, saying that there are nerves attached from the base of the skull to the back and for now I shouldn't worry about it.

Fair enough... put a line through that for now in my mind... but will pay note to it continuing and mention it again if it keeps happening or gets worse.

Told him about the fluctuations between numbness and anxiety to massive waves of sadness and I think this was more of an area he could understand and deal with.

He spoke about my medication and was curious (talking openly I guess to gauge my reaction) as to reduce or increase the dosage of my medication. Can't exactly pin point what I said at this point as I was getting tired fast (for an appointment that only lasted about 10min :blink: ) but he decided that we would try increasing the dosage from 30mg (on Mirtazapine) to 45mg. Warned me that it would take 4-6 weeks to see any marked changes but it would be a test phase to identify if that will make any odds to what's going on.

Wants me to see him again in 2 weeks.

Hi TJ, I was on zispin 60mg for quite a number of months. The best thing I found about it was it made me sleep a little more than the rest of them and I miss that very much. Didn't do much for my depression, but I sure hope it works for you. You are so articulate, I would love to be able to express how I feel especially to my doctor without going in there and balling my eyes out like a total freak! Wish me luck tomorrow with my g.p. I am dreading it. You are a great comunicator and that really is a plus. Have a restfull weekend and Happy Easter to you both.

[ToeJam]

Originally Posted by Pierro

Hi TJ, I was on zispin 60mg for quite a number of months. The best thing I found about it was it made me sleep a little more than the rest of them and I miss that very much. Didn't do much for my depression, but I sure hope it works for you. You are so articulate, I would love to be able to express how I feel especially to my doctor without going in there and balling my eyes out like a total freak! Wish me luck tomorrow with my g.p. I am dreading it. You are a great comunicator and that really is a plus. Have a restfull weekend and Happy Easter to you both.

Best of luck with tomorrow! I've been in the situation where I simply was unable to communicate... it is horrible. The solution I found to that was to write things down in note form or bullet points and to then hand that to the gp or whoever it concerned.

Thanks for the compliment re articulation

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by ToeJam

Best of luck with tomorrow! I've been in the situation where I simply was unable to communicate... it is horrible. The solution I found to that was to write things down in note form or bullet points and to then hand that to the gp or whoever it concerned.

Thanks for the compliment re articulation

Yup that is what has worked for me was my daily mood log I bring in. It has made a huge difference in my treatment.

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Paraphrase: 'Optimistic opinions that override patient concerns' -- Doctors often excel at that...

Thank you, ToeJam. Here's hoping the increased dosage works well without side effects.

echo your sentiments, Rohag! The best, Toe Jam!