[InhaleExhale13]

Lately my depression and anxiety haven't been very bad. It was such an amazing feeling to have both of my illnesses under control. I mean, there are still bad days, but not as many.

Anyways...

Here is my issue. I recently began talking to a guy that I've been infatuated with for far too many months. We had an amazing conversation and I was so proud of myself for taking the chance and he's even more wonderful than I could have EVER imagined. I was told by a mutual friend that he was extremely happy and excited that he got the chance to finally talk to me. I'll be completely honest here: hearing that was one of the best feelings in the world. I couldn't stop smiling.

Today I said hello. It's nice to actually be on a talking basis with him...finally.

And now here I sit, tears running down my cheeks, ruining my makeup. All because I can't help but wonder WHY would ANYBODY want to get to know ME? WHY would ANYBODY want to talk to ME? WHY would ANYBODY actually be excited to get the chance to finally talk to ME? WHY would ANYBODY find ME attractive? Especially THIS guy. I'm not special. I'm really not. I'm not even close. He's way too good for me. He's so far out of my league.

The second-guessing and over-thinking are back. Dammit. I'm hopeless.

[bluekoi]

Are you see a doctor and a therapist to help understand your emotions?

[Pierro]

I think you are afraid that he will make his feelings clear to you. He likes you. You are very insecure, but you have to take a chance. Best wishes IE.

[Fuzzybear]

[Altered Moment]

Why? Cause you deserve it.

Of course there are all the fear of intimacy and fear of abandonment issues that pop up in our face in these situations.

[painisme]

I have the same feelings as you sometimes. I'm stuck in a marriage because I feel that if I left no other person would feel anything towards because I'm overweight and over 50.

[Frankbtl]

Hi InhaleExhale, well whatever the questions going around in your head, clearly you are special!! And clearly you've made a big impact on him!!!
No getting away from that, so enough questions, eh??
Now the anxiety and the depression have probably taken enough off you already, so now is your time, so take it!! And what a great start!!!
Remind yourself that you deserve some happiness, and GO FOR IT!!!
Really pleased for you!!!
Alison

I saw another thread like this, I believe you wrote the same topic under two different sections. I'll post here as well though: I fear abandonment issues myself and trying to cope with them myself. You deserve to be loved. It seems like you also have low self esteem as well, however if I'm wrong about this I apologize. If you ever need someone to talk too, please don't hesitate to send me a message.