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Shooting Star
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 2,211
10 2,057 hugs
given |
#301
Well... I went to college for my afternoon math's lesson and learned that I'm only in college on Mondays because I've already earned my certificate and I'm waiting for it to arrive. But I still need to sit my maths exam sometime. So, there goes my reason to get up at a decent time in the morning. Until I have my rabbit, I don't really have a reason to get out of bed before lunch time. My dog and guinea pig are low maintenance animals and pretty much entertain themselves. I've seen my dog play fetch with herself on many occasions. So I'll be moping around the flat until June. *Sigh*
__________________ "Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
Nammu, regretful, TheOriginalMe
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Account Suspended
Member Since May 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 63
10 3 hugs
given |
#302
Just went shopping. It was good. I found a cute black dress to wear for graduation. I didn't find a shoe that will be perfect for the dress though . But, everything was good today.
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: Between A Rock & A Hard Place
Posts: 2,270
11 1,820 hugs
given |
#303
Settling in with new drugs for pain on board...and I feel Funky!!! So, now I just have to get off my lazy behind and make an effort to accomplish something. One day at a time. One little step at a time......wish me lucky on today's journey.
__________________ It only takes a moment to be kind ~ |
Nammu, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: The Bahamas
Posts: 325
10 111 hugs
given |
#304
Well, I had some good laughs today, so that really brightened my mood. Hopefully it stays this way.
__________________ Diagnosis: Bipolar Type I w\ psychotic features, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Medications: 0mg Prozac (Thank God), 10mg Zyprexa, 100mg Lamictal XR (for now may adjust as needed), 2mg Klonopin |
Nammu, StarStrike, tigerlily84
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Out of Order
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 15,794
(SuperPoster!)
10 17.2k hugs
given |
#305
I am still so crushingly low, I feel like I am a cigarette butt being ground into the dirt. I was starting to think that dropping the dose of Cymbalta to 30mg wasn't going to affect me too baldy after all, but I think it is begining to hit me now.
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Nammu, regretful, StarStrike, tigerlily84
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Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Dallas
Posts: 195
10 9 hugs
given |
#306
I'm ok today. Been productive. Just kind of have a worry feeling in the pit of my stomach.
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StarStrike, tigerlily84
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Over there
Posts: 1,320
12 3,546 hugs
given |
#307
Started out really low, but then I felt better. I got a call back from a therapist I called on Friday. She called while I was at work today so I'm about to call her back. Hopefully she'll have room in her practice to see me. Here's hoping. I also got some great support from my mom when I told her that I was trying to see a therapist. She said she was proud of me for recognizing that I needed help. It meant so much to me. I hope all of you are doing well.
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Nammu
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Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: My world of ice
Posts: 348
10 277 hugs
given |
#308
I didn't feel like getting sad today, so I took some St. John's Wort...best decision ever so far-I'm feeling like I can take on the world again! At least for now... Things may be getting better now, but from experience, I won't get my hopes up just yet.
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,013
13 287 hugs
given |
#309
I knew it was too good to be true. Depression always follows me, waiting to strike again. It's back, with a vengeance. Savor the little moments... savor the moments of peace... because Depression is a monster... I feel it pulling me down again.
__________________ Love is.. OSFED|MDD/PPD|GAD|gender dysphoria|AvPD a baby smiling at you for the first time a dog curling up by your side... and your soulmate kissing your forehead when he thinks you're sound asleep |
eggplantlife, Nammu, StarStrike
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Looking
Posts: 531
10 334 hugs
given |
#310
Kind of like bronzeowl wrote...I feel depression coming back. I was feeling good last week. My depression of 8 years got lifted. I was hopeful. Then this weekend some bad news and I'm starting to feel depressed again. Though, I'm still thinking it's sadness. Have to lift up! God!!! My life needs to lift up! I have to get out of poverty. The family who took me in is going through financial difficulty like might not have a home! This family took me in from the kindness of their big hearts and help me get through depression, so why is god being cruel!
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Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA -
Posts: 1,863
12 1,194 hugs
given |
#311
Woke up with the thought that I really don't like the twists and turns of life anymore. Apathetic and depressed...not a good mix at all...
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Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Member
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 451
14 947 hugs
given |
#312
Better today.
__________________ I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell |
Perfectly Broken
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,638
11 979 hugs
given |
#313
Not good today. I've been depressed for days now and it isn't going away. I need to see him.
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Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#314
I've been so depressed, I've been just laying in bed for a week, doing nothing but wishing I didn't have to exist. Don't seem to be able to see any light anymore, any hope. I feel sorry because of my son. He shouldn't have to live like this. I don't know how I'm going to force myself up to do some dishes and laundry and find the strength to get to the store. It's been dark and rainy for a week. I have no car, no friends, no life.. I'm so tired of being all alone. My son tries to make me feel better. He says "you have me!", he's right, but it's not the same as another adult, a friend, to encourage me, to share life with. I know why I have no one. I'm not able to be fun, interesting, and all I am is needy and depressing whenever I get the few people on the phone to talk to that I have. They never call me, or follow through on their ideas of doing something with me. I don't want to be so alone anymore. I've tried to feel better, by watching inspirational videos, nothing is helping. I'm getting old, I'm alone, I'm tired, and I feel like giving up and I cant. My life is hopeless. I have nothing but failures to look at. Sorry for the long vent, but I haven't had anyone to talk to in a long time. If anyone would be so kind as to offer a pm, someone to talk to, to help me get through this, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you. Hugs to all others who are feeling so low. I'm just pathetic right now though, I have no desire to get up. I want a better life for my son, and for me to have something to offer the world, and I feel I cant even get up and clean up and make a meal. I've had this strange headache for weeks. I tried cipralex at a low dose and i cant handle the side effects, maybe that's what is triggering this tired exhausted feeling, adn why I'm crying my eyes out at times. I quit it after 5 days, I had swollen eyes and itchiness and trembling twitchy muscles in my face. I definitely didn't like that, and I was feeling like a zombie. But now I'm more depressed
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chromegirl, Nammu, Perfectly Broken, regretful, StarStrike
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Shooting Star
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 2,211
10 2,057 hugs
given |
#315
My MH team came to see me today. They're only there because of the psychosis. I'll be seeing my psychiatrist next month. I haven't told my team but I gave up fighting against the psychosis. I quit. It's obvious I was meant to tip over the edge. To top it off I feel like utter S**t. I've no interest in life. I've done nothing productive all day. What's the point? Life doesn't get better for me. More stuff just goes wrong than good stuff. And I know a lot of this is the depression talking. But I don't want to fight it anymore. I'd rather let it engulf me because I was meant to end up like this. Broken, confused and in the eyes of others 'a complete and utter freak'.
__________________ "Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
Anonymous445852, Nammu, Perfectly Broken, regretful, TheOriginalMe
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Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 76
10 8 hugs
given |
#316
needarealitycheck, does this mean you are not on any meds right now? Please remember that when it comes to finding the right antidepressant, it can take a while, and a good amount of trial and error. Do not give up on medication because you had problems with Cipralex- go back to your doctor and get reassessed.
You sound like you are being very hard on yourself- I have been as depressed as you are now and it is easy to get down on yourself even more when you feel like you are not keeping up with life. At times like that I try to keep everything as simple as possible, just the most basic of basics. Food (I did a lot of convenience/takeout when at my worst), clothing, shelter. I break things down into the most minuscule of tasks, and try to be as gentle and forgiving of myself as possible. Hugs to you |
Anonymous445852, regretful, StarStrike
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Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 76
10 8 hugs
given |
#317
I am cautiously optimistic today- I got a few things done which make me feel like I am starting to be able to keep on top of things. Just silly errands, but it is good because when I am depressed it makes me *more* depressed to let things at home fall apart. Things like, I emptied the dishwasher, and put in the dirty breakfast dishes. Got my tires torqued. Picked up some easy to prepare meals at Costco. Made lunch. Went to therapy.
I am really hoping that this is me beginning to climb out of the hole...it is day 11 on my new meds. I know intellectually it is soon to be seeing an effect, but I am keeping my fingers crossed. |
Anonymous445852, Perfectly Broken, regretful, StarStrike
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Nammu
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#318
Thank you chromegirl, I really appreciate your response to me, I really do. I'm not on anything right now, besides quetiapine and diazepam for years. Sorry to be talking on this thread again today, but I didn't want to start a new one.
I'm not taking any antidepressant, no, I stopped. I have tried many types before, all have side effects I cant seem to bear. But feeling like this is worse. I still cant make myself do a few simple things.. Thankfully I still have some things for my son to eat, and hopefully get his laundry done sometime. I'm crying and feeling so hopeless.. I just called the nurse counselor, she really didn't help. Guess I cant really see the help if it is there, or I'm too negative. She said the same thing, to try something else. But I've already been there done that, and I think meds aren't hel;pful.. thanks again |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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#319
Still am having a really hard time feeling very lonely. I don't know why this has become an issue so much over the past week or so. Maybe it's my psyche just telling me that I can't isolate so much anymore. But I don't know what to do about it. My depression is so bad that I can't work or volunteer, and I really don't want to join a club or something to be around people. It's weird that this loneliness has just increased so much lately. It makes life very difficult because I'm alone so much and my husband is around minimally. When he is around, I relish it and cling to him. I'm sure he can sense this. I'm just a big mess!
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Nammu, Perfectly Broken, regretful, StarStrike
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Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
(SuperPoster!)
11 4,168 hugs
given |
#320
One would think, I'd be upset by new prognosis. My main neurological illness, could be culprit, as well. Maybe, explain those dizzy spells, I'd had? I dunno....there's a whole slew of types, with a.slew of functionality or disabling...so....wait and see, there....
Maybe I'm in shock... Either way...brought my glum self into his office. Sure, look all myself, on this spring day, although, after this mornings waterworks, sans makeup....went, with lesson learned in therapy...vulnerable, just be myself...whatever the emotion may be... Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2 |
Nammu, Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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