[RunningInTheRain]

I was good for a while but the last week or so I haven't been so great. Not really bad, as I'm still keeping it together for the most part...but I'm expecting things to get really bad soon. Always happens.

[healingme4me]

Name one day this week where tears haven't shed....

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I an actually having an okay day so far - - and last night wasn't too bad too. I wonder if the fetizma is startng to work? No, I don't think so; I changed my mind about it working. I'm still in the crapper - - at least right now I am since it's 5:00 and I turn into a pumpkin (self-imposed)

[tigerlily84]

My dad's birthday is tomorrow. I have a hard time going to see him because I have to see my stepmom when I visit. I'm always afraid of what fresh horrible thing she will have to say to me when I get there. And my birthday is coming soon. I hate my birthday.

[Avatar10]

I feel sooo depressed today. Can't get out of bed. So tired of being depressed, when will this emptiness and sadness leave me alone?? I can't deal with this anymore

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[TheOriginalMe]

Misery and migrane.

[makayla55]

I've been anxious all day, and couldn't focus on anything. Couldn't even enjoy my time outside. My body was out there, but I WASN'T.

[signets]

I have been having trouble sleeping. I can't seem to get to sleep and can't seem to fall back to sleep when I do. I feel like I want to take off running 2 in the morning. Yesterday, I wen to a b-day party and didn't want to be outside with everyone. I went for my daughter's sake, but I didn't want to be there and socialize.

[lizzyjb]

Bad and nervous. Only want to sleep and forget the world. It's a sunny morning. I hate.

[Perfectly Broken]

An incident happened recently that made me curious about sociopaths. I ended up looking up antisocial personality disorders and wound up at an article about selective mutism. I have selective mutism, I always thought it was something that occurred along with social anxiety but it turns out it is rare even for people with SA.
I can't talk to people, I become too anxious and avoid them altogether. I'm slowly getting better with social interactions with my current meds but I still cannot talk to certain people (or rather I only talk to a certain few). I remember failing trigonometry in high school and being so depressed since I couldn't talk to the teacher at ALL. I certainly wasn't going to signup for calculus next year since she was teaching that class too.
People may read me as snobbish, I'm just terrified of them. I don't like rejection, even the possibility of rejection. I'm too nervous to meet new people and never learned how to deal with new people or make/keep friends. I avoid eye contact and stay silent, even when I desperately want to say something and am yelling it in my head. I hope I can work on this more, I'd really hate to show up to uni this fall and still be plagued with this selective mutism. I see my psych next month and hopefully I can get to the bottom of this. I know people can sense there is something off about me, I find it excruciatingly hard to fit in and be normal.

[possum220]

I has a sad..............................

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I'm jumping up and down on depression, ... beating depression to a pulp. Depression can, ... can, ... GO POOP ON ITS FACE. HOORAH. Wanna know an awesome weapon against depression? Exercise! It's hella hard to start, but it can be the key to giving you some serious strength against depression.

Depression continues . . .

[MotherMarcus]

Meh. Not much happening here.

[smmath]

Got rejected and I didn't mean to do anything wrong. I hate myself.

[TheOriginalMe]

Same old, same old. Depression has now become the norm, it isn't going to get better, there's no way out. Everything is a chore, nothing is a pleasure so I may as well fill the hours with stuff I don't want to do, because whatever I do I am not going to enjoy it.

Meh

[Avatar10]

Originally Posted by smmath

Got rejected and I didn't mean to do anything wrong. I hate myself.

What happened smmath??

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[smmath]

I put my nose where it didn't belong and I got called out on it. I deserved it, but I feel like trying to depress myself by going over what was said to me and what I did.

[Avatar10]

Sorry to hear, but hey, it's okay to make mistakes. We're only human, don't keep punishing yourself, I know it's a hard thing to do, but try to be more gentle and loving to yourself, you deserve it

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[dandylin]

Lots of stress. Panic attacks are becoming more frequent. Walked the dog last night. Ran into one of DH's college friends. Stood in the middle of the road talking for about an hour. It was nice.

[herethennow]

strange that T was talking about relapse prevention the other day, and lo behold... i'm back down in this hole for 3 days straight away. i can probably tick off like 4 of the symptoms. and i don't know the reason why i feel so down.

this sucks.

[regretful]

Mild, persistent, annoying depression...on the bright side, the sun is shining...

[Rose76]

Feeling pretty decent.

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

Same old, same old. Depression has now become the norm, it isn't going to get better, there's no way out. Everything is a chore, nothing is a pleasure so I may as well fill the hours with stuff I don't want to do, because whatever I do I am not going to enjoy it.

Meh

I feel the same way, TheOriginalMe. Hugs to you.

Well, I had a pretty good weekend - - spent a lot of time with my husband, saw my brother and his family on Saturday, just got done from visiting with my aunt for a few hours, and now I'm back home alone feeling lonely and depressed. Kind of a let down from time with other people. I'm sure the rest of the week will be more of the same: lonely, bored and depressed. I just hate my life right now. I wish I were well enough to work or volunteer - - or to enjoy anything! My life is just killing me slowly.