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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,927
(SuperPoster!)
14 57.2k hugs
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#321
The lamictal is taking so long to build up and tackle the depression. Still I'm better than I was. The latuda took care of the mixed symptoms and the ambien is helping with sleep. I keep name calling myself for not caring and not interested enough to carry out activities I need to be doing. Strangely the latuda or sleep has decreased my anxiety to the point I do less now than I did before, although I can read again, thank goodness.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Perfectly Broken
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,927
(SuperPoster!)
14 57.2k hugs
given |
#322
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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#323
Quote:
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Nammu, StarStrike
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Nammu
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Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2007
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 1,256
17 600 hugs
given |
#324
I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow. I hate my new boss. She is ruining our store.
Tig __________________ PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Washington
Posts: 44
10 29 hugs
given |
#325
(May be TMI - Beware - I have little shame these days)
How am I today? Ready for this hemorrhoid to be gone. SO HAPPY it's healing and ending its run. Worried I haven't passed today; I'm regular. Like clockwork. Convincing myself it's the stress and worry, and one late one won't hurt. Literally. Content that ALL OF THIS focuses my mind away from the fact I'm lonely. In a house full of people. That I SWEAR are narcissists without ever being able to admit; Family. Jobless. Because I wasn't willing to suck up to the bosses like she was. And she lied. Still hurt about that. Triggered. Reminded. Coping. Coasting. One day at a time. That's how I am! __________________ And I loves you too. "But the mind can not fool itself for long. At last it has to admit that it has learned some very frightening things, some very confusing things, but that it is still ignorant, too, and needs to learn a lot more." - T. M. Wright |
Perfectly Broken
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,660
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,486 hugs
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#326
Tired. Just have to force myself to do things.
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Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: The Bahamas
Posts: 325
10 111 hugs
given |
#327
Well today was good until I came across my Chemistry exam, I swear I knew must be five or so answers definitively. This is why I intend on studying law and history, something easier to grasp the concept behind, atleast for me anyway.
__________________ Diagnosis: Bipolar Type I w\ psychotic features, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Medications: 0mg Prozac (Thank God), 10mg Zyprexa, 100mg Lamictal XR (for now may adjust as needed), 2mg Klonopin |
Perfectly Broken
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 1,432
10 368 hugs
given |
#328
I feel like I'm back in the depression. It's frustrating because it was definitely getting better. And then life decides to kick me in the head and I'm back to where I started. Stupid life.
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Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Out of Order
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 15,859
(SuperPoster!)
10 17.5k hugs
given |
#329
I'm functioning but nothing has meaning, I go through the motions but life is just a chore to be done like washing the dishes or putting the garbage out. It's not nice but not doing it isn't nice either. I just try to sleep whenever I can.
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Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Account Suspended
Member Since May 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 63
10 3 hugs
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#330
Today was great! I had a freshman orientation for my college and it was the best day ever in my life. It was very tiring but, I met many new nice people! Everybody in the college was very nice and the activities really interested me. I think that going to college might help me with my depression.
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Perfectly Broken
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Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Member
Member Since Mar 2010
Posts: 69
14 79 hugs
given |
#331
I have nothing to do ever since my art class ended about a week ago. So far, I have an appointment this coming Friday at a counseling center to get some advice on how to handle my anxiety while job hunting. Hopefully that motivates to do something cause when I have nothing to do, my mind tends to wander into dark places.
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Perfectly Broken, StarStrike, tigerlily84
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Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 44
10 22 hugs
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#332
Today was full of ups and downs. At least there were some ups and not all downs. I am frustrated with my options for treatment. I need new a new medication regimen. I need a new type of therapy. I have to make decisions and I don't know if I have enough energy to figure it all out.
I went out on a date. It's been a long time since I went out on a date. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to be interested in seeing me again. |
Perfectly Broken, StarStrike, tigerlily84
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA -
Posts: 1,863
12 1,194 hugs
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#333
In the fixed orbit of mild depression...still...and again...
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dandylin, Nammu, Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#334
I don't really know what to say today, just trying to keep busy.
Today started off on a bad note when I talked to my husband about my sadness and loneliness (which, by the way is being helped by chatting with a few people on here). He was frustrated and not really wanting to hear it. He texted me later saying the timing was bad, that when he's ready to head out the door for work and thinking about his work day that's it's really not a good time to be giving me the attention he admits I deserve. He also said this week is one of the busiest weeks of the year for his company, so that made the timing extra bad. I kind of feel guilty for selfishly thrusting my negative thoughts and emotions on him before work like that. I will know better next time, but it just doesn't seem like there's ever a good time to be talking to him about it, ya know? |
Perfectly Broken, regretful, StarStrike
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,638
12 979 hugs
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#335
I broke down last night. I haven't felt that bad in a long time. I saw him, but even that didn't help. It actually made it worse for awhile.
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dandylin, Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: CA
Posts: 266
10 |
#336
I had my appointment with the doctor today and I told them I was feeling depressed and I told them my triggers except my fear of death and existential crisis. My sister was in the room and I told them to leave but the doctor came in and they had no time to get up and leave. They're going to find an appointment with a therapist. The doctor also prescribed me a medicine to help me sleep. I'm planning on telling my therapist about everything on my first therapy. I feel a little depressed and anxious this morning but I'm feeling better than the past days. I also just found out I lost 5lbs which makes sense since I haven't been eating well.
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Nammu, Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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Shooting Star
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 2,211
10 2,057 hugs
given |
#337
Today has been a better day. I kept my mind preoccupied with rabbit stuff during the morning and bought lots of rabbit toys and a grooming set at the shop. Yay! I made it out of the flat today. The downside was being scared while outside of the flat. I'm pretty sure I have a stalker. Then after lunch I made it outside again and managed to go to the library. I felt scared when I entered the building, but despite feeling like I was being watched, I took out a book. I spent the afternoon reading, until my dad phoned up asking me to meet him. Walked with him and his dog to my grandparents house. He then gave me money to buy a drink. So I made it to another shop and then made it home again. Still, fearing for my safety. I hate leaving the flat. But staying inside drives me up the wall so I have to leave at some point. I just wish I wasn't so frightened all of the time.
__________________ "Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
Perfectly Broken, TheOriginalMe
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Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2007
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 1,256
17 600 hugs
given |
#338
I'm pushing myself to hard right now. I'm taking on so much at work but I'm unable to manage it. My wife is worried that I'm going to break mentally. I can't say that I blame her. I am staring to wonder the same thing. I can't say no. If I do say no it causes my current depression to become near unbearable. I feel a crushing sense of anxiety from this inability to say no to bosses at work. But what can I do? I want to make this end..... erg.
Tig __________________ PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
maddnessreturns, Perfectly Broken, StarStrike, waggiedog
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Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Dallas
Posts: 195
10 9 hugs
given |
#339
It was a rough day starting out. I had my first panic attack and it scared me to death because I wasn't sure what was going on. It felt like I couldn't breathe and that someone was sitting on my chest, I was sweating like crazy, shaking, and couldn't hold a conversation. It was like nothing was connecting. I'm home now and took a Klonopin but my chest still hurts. I hope things start looking up.
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Nammu, Perfectly Broken, StarStrike, waggiedog
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Out of Order
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 15,859
(SuperPoster!)
10 17.5k hugs
given |
#340
Just lousy. Exhausted too. So tedious.
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Anonymous200125, Nammu, Perfectly Broken, StarStrike
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