I had a really good night last night. It got ruined and this morning I just feel sad and confused.

Not looking forward to the day. Will be spending time with my husband, and maybe his family, but my husband's so full of life and enthusiasm, and I'm such a downer. Being around him makes me realized just how depressed I am, yet I'm so dependent on him for some sense of comfort.

[dandylin]

Spent time with family today, DH is making it difficult to want to be near him. So much negativity

[healingme4me]

I don't know what it is. Mood elevates here. Did 23 years ago('91). Did back in '01. As it does again, '14.

I can smile, laugh, experience joy. Why here?

Maybe it reminds me of my birth city? I had decent moods there.

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[StarStrike]

Today actually has some 'ups' to it.

Ups: Today me and my brother walked ten miles to the farm. I managed to get the duck eggs I like so much, sausages for my grandparents, pork belly for Friday's dinner, quail and mallard stu for tonight's dinner and a raspberry tart as a tasty treat. All of this trip out went off without a hitch and healthy unprocessed food is now in the flat for a change.

Downs: After my brother had an argument with my dad over the phone on Friday night and my name was mentioned in it I turned off my mobile to prevent my dad from phoning me and having a go at me. I was too paranoid to turn on my phone until after the trip up to the farm today, having learned yesterday that my dad has gone on holiday with his horrible fiance. I had a voice mail message from the early intervention team. They're sending over one of their staff members and this doctor person. I froze listening to that voice mail. They've never sent one of their doctors over before. It's always been social workers and assessors. I could be getting answers. I've been waiting for so long now. And I could be posting on another part of the forum as well as this for support on stuff that freak me out. And yet, I'm terrified. I'm afraid of what will become of me. I feel like breaking down and crying.

[the enchantedsoul]

I feel like my therapist doesn't listen I feel like he doesn't help and my bf barely helps because he doesn't understand..he logicalizes everything! Cant logicalize then it doesn't make sense! Just help! Not over analyze me.

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[Travelinglady]

I am feeling somewhat down because I am back to having lots of pain, and I am having stomach problems. Yesterday I finally just had to go back to bed because I was so miserable. But I am up now, hoping to meet some friends at Starbuck's.

[SilentVoices]

I'm not sure how I'm feeling today... a bit all over the place, but the meds seem to be working. I feel a little bit happier. I'm stressed out about exams, but that's normal for me. I'm struggling with my eating disorders though...

[bronzeowl]

Working on pulling myself out of isolation. Made plans to spend time with old friends. Can't wait. A bit anxious, as it's been so long since I've been around other people barring my family... but I'm sure I'll survive.

Depression is still here. But I'm doing my best to kick it... We'll see.

[Puffyprue]

worst headache, cannot sleep, so sad and cant stop crying

[Clara22]

This is silly but I got a new washing machine. It took a while for me to get it, it is expensive but the boyfriend of one my nieces got a great discount for me (around 25%). Also, I got a carpenter to build a ramp for my laundry room, so I can access the laundry room without damaging my wheelchair. I am finishing accumulated laundry. My garden, where I have to hang the clothes out to dry, needs some arrangement (the ground is uneven and my wheelchair gets stuck sometimes) but it is something I will take care next week. I feel much better when I can organize my life better, cleaning, accessing all the places, etc. I am happy I am having the strength I used to have to take care of this little things. on the other hand, I have been crying for my mom, who died last year.

[the enchantedsoul]

Originally Posted by Clara22

This is silly but I got a new washing machine. It took a while for me to get it, it is expensive but the boyfriend of one my nieces got a great discount for me (around 25%). Also, I got a carpenter to build a ramp for my laundry room, so I can access the laundry room without damaging my wheelchair. I am finishing accumulated laundry. My garden, where I have to hang the clothes out to dry, needs some arrangement (the ground is uneven and my wheelchair gets stuck sometimes) but it is something I will take care next week. I feel much better when I can organize my life better, cleaning, accessing all the places, etc. I am happy I am having the strength I used to have to take care of this little things. on the other hand, I have been crying for my ;-)mom, who died last year.

One day at a time one step at a time itll all come together! ;-)

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[TheOriginalMe]

Another day and another smile, this time accompanied by pleasure.
I started off feeling quite rough (hayfever season) and grumpy. I did some ironing, changed my bed and after that needed a sleep. My Mum asked me to do something for her and I didn't feel like it, but she looked so unhappy and helpless that I couldn't let her down. Later on I took her out for a drive and for a holiday weekend the roads were really quiet. We had a short trip out but it helped lift both our moods and that made me smile. Progress.

[Bigmike727]

Got plenty of sleep today, needed it. Finishing my last exams tomorrow, atleast until two weeks later. Feels like a temporary relief.

[smmath]

I am feeling really depressed and I have nervous energy which not is not a good combination for me. I really hate myself. I wish I could talk to someone but I am too ashamed of what I am thinking to tell people.

[tigerlily84]

Feeling down again. I am nervous about meeting this new T. I'm trying to think of what to ask him, but I feel like it's pointless. Not just because I feel like nothing will help me, but also because I was referred to him through my company's EAP program. I get to see him for 6 sessions for free. I have yet to check if he is a provider through my insurance. Onone hand, it will be good to see him for free, but if it turns out that he's not a provider through my insurance, then it would be a good idea not to get too attached. I'm overthinking things, especially since I haven't met him yet. We'll see I guess.

[Aiuto]

I have had a very hard time fighting my MDD today. It was 80 outside, very beautiful and the farthest I made it was my back porch. I cried a lot today and isolated myself in the house. I had to meditate a lot. I had some very upsetting thoughts and treatment from a guy friend. I am doing the best I can;(

[penguinh]

All I do is sleep... :/

[Swingset321]

So was productive today, finally. With 7 days left of school to go and 32 pages left to go on some very, very late assignments. I just need to pass this semester. Late, late nights ahead and trying not to beat myself up to much about not being able to get these things done sooner.

[Fuzzybear]