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Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
(SuperPoster!)
11 4,168 hugs
given |
#221
Ever know someone, too well? Sense, that underlying 'optimism', of my exh. From overheard conversations of son.
Just bought a ream of paper, giving me the tenner i need for sons field trip....you go son!!! No taxation without representation... And an eagle has been spotted... Determined, this is me, constructively using my underlying anger emotion Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2 |
Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 1,432
10 368 hugs
given |
#222
I'm feeling hopeless about a situation and it's incredibly depressing. I'm thinking about calling my therapist, but maybe it's better to wait until all hope is gone. What could she do anyway? Nothing can be done because nothing can help.
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Nammu, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, ToeJam
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New Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: USA- PA
Posts: 5
10 2 hugs
given |
#223
I'm not really sure. Iv'e been feeling down and up today. Plus, I have a test tomorrow that I barely studied for.. and a huge test next week, plus projects and stuff. I think I even gained some weight after eating so much today and right now I'm feeling crappy
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StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, ToeJam
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 2,605
10 1,403 hugs
given |
#224
Was so exhausted last night, went to be at 8, could barely keep my eyes open. Been so full of anxiety for the last month or so, jumping at my shadow almost… and getting to the point of being worn out… would really welcome apathy and I think it’s coming on.
The dog made me smile this morning. Wife leaves for work before me and sent me a text to say she’d made a pack lunch and put it my pannier (I cycle everywhere)… got downstairs and had a look… was nothing there. After a bit of investigation, I found a couple of moist chewed sandwich bags, all the while the dog was following me and wagging her tail. Didn’t have the heart to tell her off… put her in the kitchen where she stays during the day and carried on getting ready. Remembered I left my phone charger in the kitchen, opened the door to more bedlum, she’d found a number of food tubs that were well back on the kitchen counter and had positioned them untouched around her mat to have a good chew at her leasure… just gave me that look of ‘and?’.. just laughted, put them out of reach and left for work. Pets, what would we do with out them :hashface: __________________ Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK |
StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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dandylin, StarStrike
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Looking
Posts: 531
10 334 hugs
given |
#225
Down. Very down. Need help. Can't figure out my way out.
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regretful, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,305
(SuperPoster!)
14 55.8k hugs
given |
#226
Off to see the wizard today. CC is supposed to pick me up between 8-8:15am for my 9am appointment with someone to over see my psych meds. I googled the name but whoever this person is it is not a doctor. Doesn't give me confidence as this is the same place that nearly killed me before. They had. Me on a combination that was physically altering my blood, I was very sick and don't remember much, I think the PCP said it was the blood syndrome, this place refused to believe it and told my PCP that I was making it up to get off drugs! Never went back until today. Nervous as hell but there is no other choices available for those on dual medicaid and medicare. Not a lot of confidence in this place even though it's been about 10 years.
I've been getting by on a combination of healthy eating, no sugar, no processed food, exercising and doing what I love, pottery and school. Had friends sort of like me in that we're all deaf. But after I got septic from an infection it all started falling apart. The so called friends left when I refused to drink on pain meds and I got pissed and told them they were addicts. I couldn't go to school, I could barely walk. It ended up that I had to have back surgery and that left me helpless for awhile. Alone in a second story walk up with no one to help me here. I went down the black pit and don't know any way out. __________________ Nammu Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. ... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
regretful, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe, ToeJam
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA -
Posts: 1,863
12 1,194 hugs
given |
#227
What else can be said? Depression looms largely in my life - not a deep, suicidal depression, but rather that existential angst of waking each day with the question (and no answer to it) of "what is the point?"...
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Nammu, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#228
Keenly aware of my depression today. Just glad I will be going boating/fishing with my husband today so as to get out of the house, spend some quality time with him and abandon my boring morning routine of endlessly surfing the internet. Please let there be an end to this depression.
Also, just have to say, why are there some people who clearly are not depressed that post on this forum? I just don't get it. It kind of ticks me off for some reason. I'd love to name one name in particular. Bugs the ***** out of me. I guess I'm just in an ornery mood. |
Nammu, regretful, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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Shooting Star
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 2,211
10 2,057 hugs
given |
#229
I didn't want to get up this morning, but I managed to get up anyway. I had a laid back tutor in college. He let me sit on the table and didn't mind the fact that I was dancing on the table when I got hyper off energy drink. Medication doesn't seem to be working but I felt more at ease because I wasn't on my own so I managed to cope with my symptoms. It was and okay day. Not good but not bad either.
__________________ "Yeah, just be yourself It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else" - The Middle by Jimmy Eat World. Medication: Olanzapine 20mg Fluoxetine 20mg |
TheOriginalMe
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Member
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 451
14 947 hugs
given |
#230
Tons of things going on in my life. Done with school for the year though. And that's good. Very stressful changes coming; good changes but still stressfule
__________________ I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell |
StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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StarStrike
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Looking
Posts: 531
10 334 hugs
given |
#231
Just down down down...tried to put up a fake smile. Lasted for short moment. So down...trying to figure out how to make it better.
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nakitakunai, Nammu, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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Member
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 76
10 8 hugs
given |
#232
This is day 5 on my new medication regimen (Effexor and Seroquel), a complete switch from the Strattera/Lexapro combo I was on. I still feel low energy and today I was anxious while running the errands I'd taken the day off work from to do. I just felt grey and blah, kind of like the weather. It is humid, like it wants to rain, and it is almost stifling.
I am working hard on being patient. I get very impatient and down on myself when I'm down and waiting to feel better. I start to worry that I'm always going to feel like this, which I know from past experience is a lie. I am trying to focus on the basics like getting my kids fed and to school, and my job. There isn't much left over at the end of all of that, and the best part of my day lately has been when it is finally dark out, the kids are down for the night, and I can get cozily into my safe spot, my bed, and just read, or just lie there with my eyes closed. |
Nammu, regretful, StarStrike
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,305
(SuperPoster!)
14 55.8k hugs
given |
#233
My appointment w/ the wizard went well!
I came out and told him I had some trust issues from what had happened there in the past and he listened and did reassure me that things really have changed for the better, if I have any qualms just speak up. It was almost an hour long, he kept me on what I started a month ago going up to 100 mg in three weeks. I'm feeling much better about this part of things, less nervous. He thought it was quite funning that I went back to the BP quiz and changed my answers hoping that it would say I wasn't BP. I've been a member here for a long time but never took that quiz till last month, never went to the BP forum until recently either, but it's pretty clear that the meds I'm on are really making a difference. I got to admit my T was right I'm BP 2, and I need to accept that. A lot of Pdocs I've seen in the past would have not thought that was funny. I like Pdocs with a sense of humor! __________________ Nammu Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. ... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
dandylin, StarStrike, TheOriginalMe
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Out of Order
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 15,793
(SuperPoster!)
10 17.2k hugs
given |
#234
I have a flushing toilet. I almost want to go and press the button even when it doesn't need flushing just because I can! :-) :-) The rest of the bathroom is a very long way from ready, no ceiling, half plastered walls, no tiling, bath, shower & basin not plumbed in, floorboards still up, no lights, just a flushing toilet.
I fell today whilst walking with my dog, a nasty awkward fall so I've lots of burgeoning aches and pains. I feel so generally run down and yukky, I'm still bleeding heavily and I just wish I could lie down in a nice warm bath. I felt so guilty today, a minor misfortune that happened to my mum has been weighing on my mind, I feel like it was my fault all due to my stupidity. I have brooded on this for hours and the feeling just won't go away. When will it all stop? __________________ |
Nammu, StarStrike
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Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: The Bahamas
Posts: 325
10 111 hugs
given |
#235
Well today had its ups and downs. Overall, I've been feeling pretty level headed and collected these past few days. Almost feels unusual since its so different from the rollercoaster I usually ride in my life.
__________________ Diagnosis: Bipolar Type I w\ psychotic features, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Medications: 0mg Prozac (Thank God), 10mg Zyprexa, 100mg Lamictal XR (for now may adjust as needed), 2mg Klonopin |
dandylin, Nammu
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 1,432
10 368 hugs
given |
#236
Sigh.....
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Nammu, StarStrike
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Account Suspended
Member Since May 2014
Location: United States
Posts: 63
10 3 hugs
given |
#237
Bored. The day been pretty lazy and boring. Nothing happened really. If this keep going, I might not able to hold on.
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Nammu, StarStrike
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Member
Member Since Dec 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 68
10 967 hugs
given |
#238
I don't know what to do... Somebody I haven't seen or talked to in maybe about six years just texted me out of the blue (past midnight, mind you) just to ask if that was still my number... should I even text back? If she's wanting to just ask me how I'm doing, the answer is I'm miserable and drowning hopelessly in my depression... If she wants to hang out with me, I would have a hard time saying yes because of how horribly my life has been going and it's really not easy to put on a fake happy face when I'm this far down. I guess I'll decide in the morning if I'll respond or not. Some outside opinions/advice would be helpful.
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StarStrike, tired_girl90
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Free to live
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: In a sheltered place
Posts: 27,669
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,051 hugs
given |
#239
hi nakitakunai, maybe you could just reply to say hi and yes it is ... and see where she takes it from there. You always have the option of not replying to a further contact from her
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nakitakunai
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Looking
Posts: 531
10 334 hugs
given |
#240
Feeling better this morning. First time for a while.
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Nammu, StarStrike, ToeJam
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Closed Thread |
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