[dandylin]

So far; so good. That could be because I haven't spoken to anyone yet Busy day with responsibilities I don't want to have anymore.

[regretful]

Ugh...depressed....really wish I would have thought a lot more through in my life...I can't seem to stop looking back (that's depressing)...at least I'm not anxious (which results from looking too far forward for me)...Just very tired of being in this mild depression, which today was exacerbated by a dream that saddened me very much...

[msbunnyryu]

Currently at church... alone... Church is depressing. I wonder why I am even here.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by regretful

Ugh...depressed....really wish I would have thought a lot more through in my life...I can't seem to stop looking back (that's depressing)...at least I'm not anxious (which results from looking too far forward for me)...Just very tired of being in this mild depression, which today was exacerbated by a dream that saddened me very much...

I understand thei looking back, it's all I seem to do right now, look back and see how far I've not come, and compare before and after my illness.

[sph123]

Feeling agitated. I have a lot to do today but I don't know if I can even do any of it. I feel really lonely and so sad and I just want some relief from the depression. Today is definitely not a good day so far.

[healingme4me]

Worked through that anger. With knowledge. In person knowledge. Some type of non verbal understanding. Back discomfort on and off. Haven't slept this much, in a long time.
Focus driven, at the moment. Visions of ringe and Latin floating in my mind, right now. There....grasped my childrens real advantage. Education matters, with a slight derivative to health care advantage, all in a name/title, so to speak.
Can't have a novel, but I can have a Novella. GAL is limited to 20 pages, need to follow suit...

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Trying to make the most of a sunny, beautiful Sunday. Planted flowers outside, went for a short bike ride and for ice cream with my husband and now am just taking a break from reading a book out on the patio. I don't know how much longer I'll last out there, and then what will I do? Will feel guilty being inside on a such a beautiful spring/early summer day. My husband has a lot of projects going on in the garage and outside. I wish he would spend more time with me after I'm done reading. Will be lonely inside. There's that loneliness again!

[StarStrike]

I've done nothing productive all day. This Sunday has been pointless. I'm so lazy and useless.

[dandylin]

Left mass before it even started today. Went alone and was suddenly overwhelmed by the whole thing.

[TheOriginalMe]

The weather is glorious and spring in England is beautiful on days like today. Even so, I spent the morning asleep (still anaemic). In the afternoon I made myself go out, I visited the National Park and saw some amazing plants and flowers, primroses carpeting whole hillsides, bluebell woods, rivers, streams, hills. Glorious and I can only see the beauty, I just don't experience it, I watch rather than live.

[bronzeowl]

Work up today thinking Oh my god, I feel like me. I'm still not 100% sure what that feels like, but I feel somehow stronger after the past year. It is a nice feeling. I want, so badly, to hold onto this. So badly. I hope that I do.

[Bigmike727]

Well, I could've done more today, but I've been trying to relax abit to take my mind off of these exams. Can't wait until June when it will all be over.

[tigersassy]

Pdoc appt tomorrow. Get a professional opinion if med changes are working. I hope they are. Still feeling depressed but not overwhelmingly so.

Tig

[Sophie0126]

Today was an okay day. It was beautiful and sunny, pretty cool for mid to late May.
Hub and I had a morning movie date to see "Chef" with Jon Favreau. I spent the rest of the day prepping and cooking all day for dinner and for most of the week. I'm okay, and still don't know what to do with a loveless Mother's Day gift that was sent to me from my daughter who doesn't love me anymore. *sigh*

[Espresso]

It's been a rough day. I have little energy, little desire to do anything, and a family member is dying. I just want to sleep and be removed from everything.

[maddnessreturns]

It was rough today. Finally got out of bed at like 2pm and made it to the gym. Only to get sick because I've feel into my anorexia again and don't have any reserve energy. Other than that my most success is not sleeping all day.

[healingme4me]

Part of life, post divorce, still pangs a little around what would be another anniversary. This coming weekend. Time of recognizing, the bad with good, recognizing years(12), and sorry it had to happen. Like I tell my kids in punishment, you knew the consequences of your behavior, even with written notice, i still gave that one last verbal notice to reconsider what you are doing before consequence handed down(middle son tonight lost three days computer privileges)...
I made a life decision based on intolerance to mistreatment, with ample warnings and opportunities, pleas, etc....
Stop blaming my mom, and accept it! Took two to tango yes, but I gave every warning, chance, option, etc.
Anger management, by court order? Hmphhh...
Where was that, 5,6,7,8 years ago?

Add: don't think it was a light/easy choice. Think it's been easy? Think I like hearing such glib accounts of completely annihilating my children, so to speak, over broken home blah blah?

Yeah, my life has had various areas of improvement. But I'll never view people the same ever again.
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[RunningInTheRain]

I've been pretty good lately. A big part of me is waiting for it all to crash again, because it always has...but I'm definitely enjoying a break from feeling like my brain is trying to suffocate me.

The weekend is about over. On Saturday morning it appeared like it was going to be a pretty good weekend and probably the best weekend in a long time. I had optimism on Saturday morning, but it all came crashing down as the weekend progressed.

On Saturday night I got together with a friend I had not seen in a while. He had been so busy and not available for quite a while. On Saturday morning he had emailed me saying he'd be available on Saturday evening, but no set time. So he called me at 5:45 PM and told me to be over at 6:30. I told him that I would make it more around 7 because I started eating dinner. He said,"you can't just drop your dinner to see me?" I thought what was that all about? But then he told me to call when I'm ready to come. So I called back and there was no answer. But I went over to his place anyways (at 6:50); and when he saw me at the door, he told me that he was upset that I was selfish not to drop my dinner to see him. Geeze! Our time together did not start well but it got better as he apologized.

This morning I got an email from him asking me if I am a friend. He also stated that he wants to handle selling my place (I had been thinking of selling my condo) and he was upset that I had called a Real Estate Office instead of him. In the first place, he has not been a good friend because he's always been busy and distant. And then I did call on a Real Estate saleswoman that I know very well and like. I prefer to do business with her than with him.

So it looks like I'm going to lose a friend that I thought would be good for me. Also, today was not a good day as I felt like I had been by myself all day. And I went to the pool area looking forward to relax and there were undesirable people there. One very good reason why I want to leave where I live.

[Rose76]

Awfully tired, but otherwise okay.

[regretful]

Depressed...annoyed....tired...bored...frustrated...

Feeling awfully sad and lonely again. Seems like things are getting worse, not better for me. Maybe it's just the continuing monotony of my life that's getting to me - - and the seemingly unending isolation that is very painful. Hoping this will end in not too long, but really not seeing an end in sight. This really sucks. I just hate my life and existence (if you can even call it that, at this point).

[Nammu]

Does anyone know what happen to Bark? She's been gone for a while, I know she was struggling....then nothing?

[eggplantlife]

This isn't good. I've been feeling good for days then now, I don't know my next move. I don't want depression to come back. I have to figure out something...soon.

[Pikku Myy]

Still feeling active and calm