[cashewmonster]

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site.

A little about me:
I just currently finished my first year at pharmacy school.
The reason I'm in pharmacy school is because it's something my parents have always wanted me to do. In addition, last year my boyfriend at the time attended this school and I really wanted to be with him, so I applied too.
This past year has been the most difficult. I've made some terrible life decisions which has led to almost everyone at school to hate me. Professional school is very different from undergrad because you see the same small number of people everyday. It's a small town and there's no chance I can go out and meet other people my age. The course load was very difficult and along with everyone talking about me behind my back has made me very angry and depressed. Every weekend consisted of drinking half a bottle of vodka.

Summer has recently started and I feel completely useless. It seems like everyone in my class got an internship except for me. I feel very pathetic. I have never had a job and I'm terrible at interviews. No one ever likes me upon first impression and so I feel like I will never get a job. Everyday I lay in my bed for probably 20 hours of the day. I make no effort to get in touch with old friends to hang out. I have no motivation to do anything. I use to enjoy reading but now I can't even finish a book. My parents scream at me everyday for not having found a job and they don't understand that it's difficult to find one and that I have been trying.

I talk to the same two people everyday and whenever I mention how I'm tired of life and of existing, neither of them understand. This infuriates me and leads to daily heated arguments. They tell me to leave pharmacy school and find something I enjoy. They don't understand that I don't enjoy anything anymore and I can't just leave school. My parents have paid so much money for pharmacy school and my living expenses. I can't tell them I want to drop out and just want to drink and party. I'm also angry because I only spent two years in undergrad and all my "friends" in undergrad are all still partying, studying abroad and enjoying life while I feel like I'm trapped and I've missed out. I will never get to enjoy those things.

I don't look forward to the future. I don't want to be a pharmacist. The salary doesn't motivate me because I'm not sure what I would do with the money. Traveling to me doesn't sound appealing when I'm old because I will no longer be age appropriate for slutting around and drinking all day.

I'm sorry for being so whiny. I just really needed to rant because no one in my life understands.

[Leed]

Good heavens, are you saying that NOW you want to "slut around and drink all day?" Not what I would call good choices.

Ok, seriously ~ INSTEAD of wasting any MORE of your parents money, get OUT of school now, or switch majors NOW -- there is no point in working towards a career that you're going to hate! Who wants to work in a hated career??

Your parents will be disappointed, yes -- but if you switch majors, it won't be as bad as if you quit college altogether! I hope that's not what you wanted to do! You NEED a college education these days, believe me!

How about talking to your school counselor too. Perhaps he/she can help about interpersonal relationships -- or drop in here at the Relationships & Communications Forum. Try either or both!

I wish you the very best, my friend. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[Poppy Princess]

It's hard cause people often don't really know what they want to be until they're a lot older.

[lostinbooks]

See a doctor and get a handle on the depression. Nothing is going to work out until you feel like existing again.

[sm79]

Originally Posted by cashewmonster

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site.

A little about me:
I just currently finished my first year at pharmacy school.
The reason I'm in pharmacy school is because it's something my parents have always wanted me to do. In addition, last year my boyfriend at the time attended this school and I really wanted to be with him, so I applied too.
This past year has been the most difficult. I've made some terrible life decisions which has led to almost everyone at school to hate me. Professional school is very different from undergrad because you see the same small number of people everyday. It's a small town and there's no chance I can go out and meet other people my age. The course load was very difficult and along with everyone talking about me behind my back has made me very angry and depressed. Every weekend consisted of drinking half a bottle of vodka.

Summer has recently started and I feel completely useless. It seems like everyone in my class got an internship except for me. I feel very pathetic. I have never had a job and I'm terrible at interviews. No one ever likes me upon first impression and so I feel like I will never get a job. Everyday I lay in my bed for probably 20 hours of the day. I make no effort to get in touch with old friends to hang out. I have no motivation to do anything. I use to enjoy reading but now I can't even finish a book. My parents scream at me everyday for not having found a job and they don't understand that it's difficult to find one and that I have been trying.

I talk to the same two people everyday and whenever I mention how I'm tired of life and of existing, neither of them understand. This infuriates me and leads to daily heated arguments. They tell me to leave pharmacy school and find something I enjoy. They don't understand that I don't enjoy anything anymore and I can't just leave school. My parents have paid so much money for pharmacy school and my living expenses. I can't tell them I want to drop out and just want to drink and party. I'm also angry because I only spent two years in undergrad and all my "friends" in undergrad are all still partying, studying abroad and enjoying life while I feel like I'm trapped and I've missed out. I will never get to enjoy those things.

I don't look forward to the future. I don't want to be a pharmacist. The salary doesn't motivate me because I'm not sure what I would do with the money. Traveling to me doesn't sound appealing when I'm old because I will no longer be age appropriate for slutting around and drinking all day.

I'm sorry for being so whiny. I just really needed to rant because no one in my life understands.

Hello,

I understand what you are going through right now. I am a pharmacist and have questioned my career choice as well. I did not have many friends in pharmacy school in my own class; and it is a difficult transition to professional school from undergrad. I also did not really fit in with my class because we were different, so it was difficult for me socially. I have had a difficult career since I graduated and question my life decisions all the time. I also understand the difficulty in finding an internship because it is hard for pharmacy students right now, and it is also not as easy as used to be for pharmacists. I don't know how much this helps, but know that there are those that can relate to you.

[Glendale86]

I am in the exact boat as you are. I just started pharmacy school a month ago and people keep telling me it's only been a month and I should be patient. But I just do not feel like I fit. I met plenty people the first weeks but nothing really clicked and everyone else that I met are all friends except me. I just float around, being friendly with everyone but not really friends. I might have burned some bridges by accident but ever since, feel like a total floater- where people are polite but not really considering me a friend. Im very self-conscious and others might have mistaken some things I did as rude. I'm just worried abt later, when the workload gets overwhelming and I have no support system- i moved out of state for school. How did you cope during school? Were you involved in any activities or worked? I have been feeling so lonely and distressed abt this, I am falling behind school....
I totally agree with others that grad programs are small and we have limited number of people we can meet. If things don't work out with those in same class, you're just outta luck. So how did you cope? And any advices for next few years??
Thank you.
QUOTE=sm79;3096434]Hello,

I understand what you are going through right now. I am a pharmacist and have questioned my career choice as well. I did not have many friends in pharmacy school in my own class; and it is a difficult transition to professional school from undergrad. I also did not really fit in with my class because we were different, so it was difficult for me socially. I have had a difficult career since I graduated and question my life decisions all the time. I also understand the difficulty in finding an internship because it is hard for pharmacy students right now, and it is also not as easy as used to be for pharmacists. I don't know how much this helps, but know that there are those that can relate to you.[/QUOTE]