Waking up at night suicdal

The Fox & the Hound · May 11, 2014, 10:25 AM

The past few night I woke up,& I was very suicidal

The Fox & the Hound · May 11, 2014, 02:19 PM

Why is this happening?

smmath · May 11, 2014, 02:26 PM

Did something happen recently to cause these feelings? Can you call a crisis line or talk to someone when you feel like this?

The Fox & the Hound · May 11, 2014, 03:04 PM

No not really. This happened before. Also lately when I've been waking up I'm feeling disorient.

At night, no. I'm so out of it. I just keep saying I want to die, out loud. I usually never say that out loud. These are the strongest urges, I really am desperate to die. But I'm too tired to get up.

smmath · May 11, 2014, 03:10 PM

Can you write the thoughts down or get a drink of water? Something to try and break the negative thought pattern?

yumi · May 11, 2014, 03:39 PM

Get yourself to the ER. And now

The Fox & the Hound · May 11, 2014, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smmath

Can you write the thoughts down or get a drink of water? Something to try and break the negative thought pattern?

I could try, but at time, I'm usually tired,& out if it .

smmath · May 11, 2014, 09:36 PM

What about having some sugar near your bed, so when you feel that way, you can get something in you to wake you up and help you think clearly?

IowaFarmGal · May 11, 2014, 10:51 PM

Sometimes the tail end of dreams wake me and leave me feeling that way. It is related to feelings of failure with me or maybe shame for something I did or failed to do. I tell myself that I've done the best I can or if there is something I can change to make it better think of small manageable steps to move in that direction. Usually I will close my eyes and rock myself back to sleep. I don't know if yours is the same thing. It would be good to let your therapist know if you have one.

The Fox & the Hound · May 11, 2014, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IowaFarmGal

Sometimes the tail end of dreams wake me and leave me feeling that way. It is related to feelings of failure with me or maybe shame for something I did or failed to do. I tell myself that I've done the best I can or if there is something I can change to make it better think of small manageable steps to move in that direction. Usually I will close my eyes and rock myself back to sleep. I don't know if yours is the same thing. It would be good to let your therapist know if you have one.

It could be that, I don't remember what it was about anymore. But it's just strong urges. It's is weird.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smmath

What about having some sugar near your bed, so when you feel that way, you can get something in you to wake you up and help you think clearly?

That might work,I have water by me always, that never helps though.

I'm glad I have never got caught. I just stay in bed, & say "I want to die", over & over again. I'm not even sure if I'm fully awake.

There was one time at night, where I had the pills in my hand,& was very close to doing it.

But, even when I don't wake up suicidal, there are times were I'm depressed.Also many times when I wake up I have this weird uncomfortable feeling. Like I'm in haze-kind of. I don't know how to explain it.

IowaFarmGal · May 11, 2014, 11:13 PM

Keep yourself safe and move the pills out of reach and sight so they are not available during the impulse. Is there someone you could trust to keep them for you? I gave my pills back to the therapist and explained the problem. Told her I didn't want them in my house. They might have been contributing to the problem of suicidal thoughts. Some meds have that as a side effect. Same goes for any tools that might be at hand to harm yourself during an impulse. Also avoid anything that might increase impulsiveness such as alcohol.

May 12, 2014, 06:58 AM

"waking up in the night suicidal"???

I call that 'the morning'. :/

The Fox & the Hound · May 12, 2014, 07:04 AM

As of right now,I'm not on any medication.

Fuzzybear · May 12, 2014, 07:05 AM

May 12, 2014, 07:14 AM

fox..... clearly it is time for some meds. I am not going to pretend that I have any idea of what meds. But you need some. You NEED to be safe.

The Fox & the Hound · May 12, 2014, 10:04 AM

I'm really scared to take antidepressants. I had a had bad experiences with them.

How much do they help?

Quote:

Originally Posted by adamwatson85

You must be going through some sort of depression. Get yourself checked buddy.

I'm pretty sure I have depression... I don't know how bad though. Or what kind.

Waking up these thoughts are getting more common, I don't know why it's happening to me. It seems like my depression is getting worse.

The worse I get, the more suicidal I get. I contemplated a lot. If something bad happens, I think of it,& it relives me,& makes me calmer.