I have fallen...... help!!!!!

These have been the worst 2 plus years ever..... it all started when me and my ex wife separated after having a child which wasn't the cause of the separation.... I got married to young and just couldn't be myself that's why.... After asking for a divorce I was always thinking about what I have done to everyone's lives what I did to my son's life by asking for a divorce.... I pretty much made the decision for my son to live 2 lives and not experience a mom and dad like it should be... I dwelled on the fact that I wouldn't get to see my son everyday I wouldn't get to see him growing up like a family does or experience what a family is. I became very depressed by that and cried so many nights always still do even after the divorce.... I am caught in a state of regret. I became very overweight once being 157 muscular 6 pack guy to 212 everyone makes comments about. I use to get so many comments on my body of how muscular it was and how I got to be like that I would always get ppl in the gym asking me for tips. I started eating my depression. I became an alcoholic drinking on aver 5 nights a week 10 to 16 beers sometimes for weeks straight. Started being late for work missing work. I guess what I am asking help for is that I want my body back I want to become healthy for my son and change my life style I want to become happy again and start living for now and tomorrow rather in the past.. my family is all unhealthy with diabetes bad hearts cancer u name it.. how do I change my health for the better with still this regret on on my shoulders

You may want to start with AA meeting. Not saying you are an alcoholic at this point but it's a good place to stop the drinking. That should also help your weight issue. Then for yourself and your son get out there and exercise. You can get your weight back down and your confidence will go up.

Spend quality time with your son when you can. You can still have a great relationship with your son. Build on that.

You might want to see a counselor to help you relieve yourself from all your guilt. Life happens and we have to make the best of it.