[Nolafeline]

I don't think there was a minute that I did NOT cry today. I haven't cried in weeks and now I cannot stop. I took some Xanax and that seem to calm thing a little.
I also realized tonight that I have zero friends. Once I told my close friends about my depression, they stopped contacting me. Like I have AIDS or something.
Between the dates of December 2013 through March 2014 I out on a lot of weight. 20 lbs to be exact. My doctor had me on Risperdone. I experienced edemda and extreme weight gain. I begged him to take me of the Risperdone and he put me on Ritaln and Lithium. I feel decent after taking the Ritalin and before going to bed.
My heart still physically hurts. Id talk to a friends but they all left me.
I dispise my life. God is supposed to be loving. So why are we suffering to the point where we wish we were dead?

[waterknob1234]

Hi Nolafeline. I am so sorry for what you are going thru. Its so hard because friends in the real world just don't understand depression. My friends think I should be able to just "pep talk" myself into a better mood. I have even been told I have a bad attitude. Believe me, I wish I could just "pep talk" myself into a better mood. I now try to avoid discussing my depression with people around me because they don't understand and I think they have labeled me as "crazy". It seems like medicines help just so much. I wish I had some good advice for you, but I will say this, you are not alone. I understand what you are going thru. Keep posting here. There are lots of people on this forum who will love you and support you. Please hang in there and God bless. Feel free to message me anytime.

[dandylin]

I'm sorry that you are feeling that way. Unfortunately, I think most of us have been there. Keep treading water.

[Bigmike727]

Hi, it's sad when people don't understand a condition and judge based on judgmental precepts alone. I wouldn't worry about those "friends", if they were real friends they wouldn't judge you based on a condition alone, they wold be supportive of you. I know what you mean about weight gain with anti-psychotics. I'm on Zyprexa and in the almost year I've been on it, I've probably gained about 20-30 pounds, it makes me eat more for some reason. Anyways, wishing you the best.

[greentires4me]

when I saw the C I thought "C is for cookie, and cookie is for me, so where's me cookie"



I gained 50 pounds off of flounaxil i believe thats how you spell, it was a anti-psychotic shot it just stacked up and everything I tried to knock it down with but the drug made me very hungry all the time.

I have one good friend I met in the psych ward we have known each other for a year plus. It helps to know someone going through the same reality as you are.

[Petra5ed]

Hi Nolafeline, I know where you're at. I have no friends either. I don't want to live if I'm no good, and most of today that's how I felt. I've always been a kind and gentle person, there just really is no god .

The only thing keeping me going today is that stuff could change for me tomorrow. I've been happy before. The only thing you can guarantee in life is change. My advice, get angry! It's a lot more pleasant for me to be angry than depressed...

All the stuff you described sounds like major depression, I get that.

[Nolafeline]

Sorry. I do not know why the title came out as "C"/

[sleepweaver]

I understand the pain of not having friends to talk to. It's never been easy for me to make friends, and somehow it's even harder to keep them.

You're not alone.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Nolafeline

Sorry. I do not know why the title came out as "C"/

Well, either way, it was a 'c'atchy title. I opened, thinking 'see'...

wish I had words of wisdom. Sorry, you are suffering ((((Nolafeline))))

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