[az_tc91]

I have been going through so much I'm surprised I'm not in bed with the blinds closed. my depression started after a series of events but was has recently triggered my depression to hit it's all time low was the loss of my previous job. since then I have been barely getting by and it's not enough. I went from making more than most people my age and on the path of becoming a major player in the company. went from not having worries of how much something costs, countless trips around the world, and countless things to do to stretching $20 for a couple days and literally applying for any position in businesses in wich I was the guest, not the employee. my confidence is shattered and I have no respect for myself. I just want to be happy and have my old life back. I know dwelling on the past won't help any but it's all that floods my mind. and having come from a successful family and havingcountless friends who are going places, I'm the loser going nowhere now. how can I make myself smile again?

[namastewoman]

Totally get the low self-esteem thing. Experience some success by volunteering somewhere until a job opens up. You want to have something to tell employers about the way you spent your time when not working.

Keep your head up and keep pushing and you will make it happen - just don't give up. Once you fully embrace despair and apathy it will really be over but I can tell you haven't done that yet... you are feeling down and discouraged but that's normal. It's tough out there for a lot of people right now - KEEP PUSHING!

[regretful]

Originally Posted by nowheretohide

Keep your head up and keep pushing and you will make it happen - just don't give up. Once you fully embrace despair and apathy it will really be over...

I agree with the quote ~ despair and apathy are two central components to my depression...So really...Don't give up.

Hi az_tc91. I can appreciate the lack of self esteem issue. I was raised with a very strong work ethic, went to law school and worked as an attorney. Now my depression is so bad that I can't even work. My depression itself has really impacted my self esteem - - kind of like I feel if I were a better person maybe my depression wouldn't be so bad. But I know I'm a good person, and it's not my fault I'm depressed. I also feel like a loser because the weather here is so beautiful now but, because of my depression, I don't feel like doing anything outside unless maybe it's with my husband.

Sorry for going off on my own tangent there. Hope things will improve for you.

[waterknob1234]

I know it has to be difficult being unemployed after having a good job. Losing a job hurts. I remember I got fired from a job once about 24 years ago and it wrecked my self-esteem and plunged me into a depression. The only thing I know to tell you is to keep looking. Looking for a different job myself right now. Volunteering does help. It gives you something to put on a resume. But it also gives you a sense of purpose. I have been in a depression for about a year now, and one of the things that keeps me going is helping out with a volunteer ministry for special needs adults in my church. They are always so wonderful to be with, and they love you for just being there. Hang in there and I wish you all the best.