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#1
May 20, 2014, 11:24 AM
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I'm lost in my head. I don't feel like there is anything I can do. I want to just curl up in a ball and cry. I hate being like this. I'm ruminating on things that I shouldn't care about. I saw my mother because I couldn't just walk away we talked for a while about her as always. I feel like she's blaming me for her cancer again and the resulting surgery she's having in a few weeks. I'm lost in these thoughts, and they are feeding my depression. I don't know what to do. I just needed to get it out and the depression is my primary problem. Need to cry.
Tig
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
 Anonymous100108, DogTired, eeyorestail, regretful, StarStrike
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#2
May 20, 2014, 12:16 PM
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sorry you are struggling.
if your mom is blaming you for cancer.?.? Sorry but that is simply stupid (on her part). Beyond stupid and rather cruel to try to dump that on another person. as for crawling up in a ball and crying..... sorry you feel this way. But (seriously) what if you did? Maybe really cry and scream and let it all out. Could that help you some? |
 tigersassy
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#3
May 20, 2014, 12:26 PM
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She blamed me for it when it first came up. She's just a manipulative person. Blaming everyone for everything. I'm not even supposed to be talking to her. I cut them,parents, out of my life because they are abusive. I'm going to try to cry and get it out, but don't know if it'll help.
Tig
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
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#4
May 20, 2014, 12:55 PM
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best wishes to you. i will include you in my prayers
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| tigersassy
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#5
May 20, 2014, 08:22 PM
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((((tigersassy)))))
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| tigersassy
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#6
May 21, 2014, 12:12 AM
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That sounds absolutely awful. Sorry that you ran into your mom, the source of a lot of pain, and had to experience more of it. Have you had any therapy to help you with this? My mom was addicted to pain killers (among many of her other problems) and became manipulative and abusive, leaving a legacy of sadness and pain. It's made me feel guilty, hopeless, and depressed and still does sometimes but finding support and finding people who remind you that you are not defined by your parents' problems is vitally important. Cry, let it all out for as long as it takes and keep telling yourself that you are NOT defined by your parents' problems even if there are times when you don't believe it. There's much more to you than that. And there are legions of us who understand feelings like you're having even if our situations aren't quite the same. Take care.
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| tigersassy
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#7
May 21, 2014, 02:51 AM
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Yeah I've had some therapy to deal with it still in therapy and still dealing. I tried crying, but I couldn't. I feel like crying but I can't.
Tig
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
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