Stigma of Depression/Other Mental Disorders

During this episode, among the most frequent thoughts I had was how my own family treats me in regards to depression. I'd be lying if I didn't say some of them-namely my mother- has not improved, but I can't help but feel like I should have kept it to myself. Apart of my therapy treatment plan is focusing on gaining more support, because we all know that depression is a debilitating condition that is capable of crippling a person. So as much as I'd like to exert my independence, I've realized that isn't realistic in my quest to cope with this. However, the ridicule and the stigma attached to such disorders are so unbearable at times, it's unreal! It's amazing that most of my family battles depression themselves, but REFUSE to seek help! There have been generations upon generations of ignorance and disregard for this subject and no one wants to acknowledge the fact that depression IS, in fact, more common than people may have it seem! Yet, within my own family, it's like pulling teeth to get them to understand, to open up their eyes to treatment and the benefits it yields. My thoughts become so conflicted at times because my family doesn't want to accept the trauma they've endured let alone seek help and then I go to my therapist & she's telling me that what I'm doing is courageous and commendable. Logically, I see where my t is coming from, but when those feelings come rushing to the brain logic tends to be out the window & very far from my grasp! I know seeking help has changed and will continue to change my life for the better, but when will the people that I call family accept that??? Can anyone relate? Don't be shy to reply.

They may never accept it but that's about them not u. U need to worry about u and seek help for urself. That's the family u were born into but y can't u find a new family?

I consider here at PC another family. This family understands and supports. I know it's not the same as real life but graduate to meeting ppl in real life who do understand and are going to be there for u. My new family in real life I searched for my whole life. I thought I'd found it 7000 miles away from my blood family. That didn't work out. But now I have a new family and I've has them 6yrs this summer. My partner save my life 6yrs ago and her mom and bro are my new family, small family but still they accept me. My partner is truely loved by them. They know of my struggles and thy know how awful my family is.

I no longer speak to anyone of my family. I don't need their abuse and guilt. I have my partners mom who treats me like her own. It isn't the same and sometimes it makes me feel really bad about myself but my partner tries to make me feel better.

U can find a new family too. Good ppl are out there u just gotta have patience and put urself out there. Good luck

I cut my mom out of my life for being toxic and abusive. (I don't think she missed me.) We need support, and fortunately can get it elsewhere.

In my expeirance, they won't ever relate and if they possibly would they wouldn't acknowledge it.
They just won't understand and it's pointless in even trying to explain it to them.
If you broke off from that and you're seeking help, their negativity shouldn't affect you in this regard. You're the one with strength doing the right thing.

It is very difficult for people who do not suffer from depression to understand what this disease is like. I am thinking if a different name for this condition is in order as "Depression" is so often misunderstood to be a reaction to an uncomfortable event rather than a systemic, pervasive illness. Sigh.

So true! It's so hard for people to understand that there's no particular cause for an episode or for the onset of the disease. The first episode I can remember having was at 15. All these old thoughts & feelings came rushing back as if it just happened. Then when it came time to go to school, I couldn't find the strength to get up & go. It was at that moment that I knew I was battling something unimaginable.

My mom and grandmother both struggle with depression and eating disorders like I do. I love my family but they are not healthy for me. I speak with them minimally and see them on holidays. It isn't because I don't want to help them but it is that I realize after this many years it isn't worth hurting my recovery because when I'm around them they pretty much hand me the shovels to dig a hole. It really sucks but I try to accept it

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Hi Acj, it seems like family is not always helpful when it comes to depression, but they can sometimes make it worse. I don't discuss my depression with any family but my husband because they would not understand, in fact, they would judge me. They would see it as a personal fault. I hate the stigma that goes with mental illness. You would not judge somebody with heart disease, kidney stones, or cancer. Why should we be judged? Your family members who suffer depression sound like they don't want to admit what they are dealing with. I think the best thing you can do is to continue your therapy and help you. Best of wishes.

Madness returns, you're so right about keeping a certain distance from unhealthy family members. One thing I've learned while recovering is that there are soooo many people struggling with mental disorders-namely depression-but are not, nor will they ever be, ready to accept it & work on it. I think there's a sense of insecurity when it comes to people who aren't working on their issues to see someone who has the strength to actually do so.

Hey water knob, they say hindsight is 20/20. Looking back on things, I probably should've held off on telling my family about it because they have judged me. However, I feel like someone has to break the cycle especially in terms of shame. My mother is still in denial that depression can be crippling, even after she's watched me go through episodes barely eating, not sufficiently taking care of myself, making irrational decisions, etc. people are really blind to the fact that this is an every day battle & though I expected my family to understand, apart of me knew this would be the outcome.

Dear Acj5114: sweet baby jesus how I can relate to this one! When I first "came out" as bipolar in my 20s, it overwhelmed my family who was deep in denial.
And my family is fraught with closeted fellow-sufferers. I was considered the black sheep, my sin even surpassing my cousin's arrest for attempted murder, and another family members bankruptcy caused by cocaine addiction.

My father likes to make jokes about my "imaginary illness", especially during the holidays. This Easter, I told him that bipolar isn't Santa Claus, just because you don't believe in it doesn't mean that it's not real. When I was younger, others comments made me feel ashamed, but now that I am older I find not myself no longer giving any f*cks.

It seems others must choose to deal with it on their own - you can extend support, offer to listen and give them the benefit of your experience, but they must take the first step themselves.

You are courageous and commendable! I understand the pull a family has, and how it is easy to fall under the psychology of the group when you are at home around them. It took me years to realize others outside the family didn't feel the same; I think if there is dysfunction, the family unit will try to protect itself - it's very difficult to change, and hard to consider there may be problems.

Take care - Bolivar

Wow bolivar! Sounds just like my family & thanx for sharing your experience. I think a lot of it has to do with people not wanting to accept these things within themselves so they shun the entire illness & it's effects. It's really sad to think that we suffer from chronic disorders, no different than diabetes or heart disease, yet we often lose support rather than gain it. I guess that's life.