So earlier today I planned that I would end it tonight. And then my Dad text me asking if I was free to meet up tomorrow and get some lunch. It's really unlike my Dad to reach out like this so I figure, why not. I can put off my plans.

I'm meant to be attending my friend's birthday on Saturday too. But it just seemed unattainable to get there. She just text me too asking to do something extra on Sunday too. So I think I will be sticking around after all

I guess I am thankful to them.

[tohelpafriend]

the present only lasts an instant....the future is always better.....hang in there, you have people who love you.

[Frankbtl]

Hi secret, really glad that you've put off your plans. But I think that's just as much a "testament" to you as to them. And if you could give yourself a hug right now then you should be, although sending one your way anyway!!
What your dad did was so "out of the blue" and considerate/caring (?) but you also let him in there- "through the cracks".
And things like that can be SO special/meaningful!!!
I know it probably still isn't real easy for you now, but any light, any spark, anything that breaks through that darkness just a bit has to be worth holding onto. And I think you're seeing that, right?? Just a little???
Really hope lunch goes well, and use it!!! Whether that's a little reflection on positive memories, absorbing the feelings it sounds like he has for you (?), or just opening up a little about the way you're feeling to him, whatever works for you.......he clearly wants to be with you!!
And hey, you're clearly in your friends thoughts too!!! You matter!! And you matter to us too!! So hang with us...........whatever we can do to help!!!
Alison

I guess I shouldn't stay up this late, the thoughts have come back. One day I might actually learn what the right thing is to do...

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

I guess I shouldn't stay up this late, the thoughts have come back. One day I might actually learn what the right thing is to do...

The 'right' thing to do, secret is hang in there kiddo. There are people who care greatly about you, please don't forget that.

People in this forum for example. People like me, who know how you feel, and can relate, and am grateful that there is someone like you, who understands.

[Idiot17]

. Keep on hanging in.

[DogTired]

Although I don't know you in person, I know you through the feelings you share on this forum and I share those same kinds of feelings with you, 100%. You matter to me and many others here, and to people who know you in person. Hold on to that thought and if you can't, at least know that in our thoughts and in our spirits, we feel your pain and we out here are holding on to you and supporting you through this. You are not alone and you are loved.

You can "label" it anything you want.... but that is God intervening.

Stick around.

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

You can "label" it anything you want.... but that is God intervening.

Stick around.

I agree with Useless Me.

I might also suggest you go to bed at an earlier time. I know if I stay up too late, I get more depressed. I stick to a very rigid sleep schedule. It's what gives me the strength hold on for another day. And I take it one day at a time. Looking into the future drives me over the edge, so I try to focus on just today.

Yeah late nights are not at all healthy! I don't know why I do it to myself tbh, sometimes it's like I want to feel rotten. I will try to sort that out...

Extra sleep is ALWAYS good.

[Fuzzybear]

[moodycow]

sometimes i think because we are all so used to feeling rotten , we almost want it because it is the norm for us and there is much comfort in normality , so may be that should be our goal believe that the light at the end of that long tunnel Can and will become the norm if we work at it . secret maybe promising to take better care of yourself going to bed earlier can be the first step on that journey. as others have said we are all here and care