I Don't Want To

Lately I have had this terrible fear of being asked if I am okay. It's so frustrating. Sometimes my face just rests in a way that makes me look tense or worried. I don't want to talk about it. I feel scared of being asked to do things like hang out with friends because I don't want to leave my room but I also know I will lay around and cry about making myself feel left out. I know I choose to stay home and that is my decision. But I would be so much happier if I didn't have to face the fact that no matter what I decide to do, I'm miserable. I can enjoy maybe 30 minutes of each outing before feeling sad and removed from the situation and begin to crave being home alone. I realize I am doing it to myself. But what I don't understand is why nothing is making me happy and the things that used to make me happy make me sad. I hate listening to my favorite songs because they make me feel sad. I don't like being around people I love because the thought of being attached to them makes me sick. I can't go out and I can't stay in. I can't do anything. I don't want to do anything but sink so far into my bed I actually turn into memory foam.

I can relate. Things do change but I am impatient. Every endless day is the same right now but all we can do is keep breathing right?

Sent from my XT1028 using Tapatalk

mrosec, I'm sorry you've lost interest in things that formerly brought you joy, and that you feel so hopeless. I want to remind you that there is hope. Nearly everyone who has suffered from depression recovers, faster if you seek treatment. That's not to say that the depression won't come back, but if it does it will only affect your life for a finite period of time.

You will feel better, soon I hope. Please don't isolate yourself; it will make things worse.

Hi, I know how you feel, I too hate being stuck in the house while simultaneously hating going out with friends, it's one of those catch 22's. Thankfully, I have some hobbies so that helps to keep my mind distracted.